"Did we just... kiss?" Tyler asked. "We did", Josh replied. "Wow", Tyler replied. Josh let out a laugh. "Wow indeed."
"Wanna do it again?" Tyler asked. "Of course I do", Josh replied, connecting his lips with Tyler's again. When they pulled back, Josh couldn't help but peck Tyler's lips once more.
"Wanna walk around for a bit?" Josh asked. Tyler nodded, still smiling and blushing 'cause he just kissed his crush. His crush!!
Josh and Tyler walked around hand in hand, while Tyler was kinda more skipping than walking. He was so happy. But then he stopped in his tracks.
"Hey J?" He asked as Josh looked back at Tyler, since he'd stopped walking. "Yeah Ty?" He asked.
"What if.. what happens when we get home?" He asked. Josh stood in front of him and grabbed his other hand again too.
"Well, d'you think there's enough room in your bed for me to stay over another night?" Josh asked. Tyler smiled softly. "Always, y'know that", he said. It made Josh smile.
"D'you really wanna stay over though?" Tyler then asked. "I mean-"
"Hey", Josh interrupted him. "Enjoy Pride now, talk about future stuff in your bedroom later?" Josh proposed. Tyler sighed softly, nodding. He smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good", he said. Josh smiled too. He wrapped an arm around Tyler's neck as they continued strolling around. He then pressed a kiss on Tyler's cheek. "You have the softest cheeks, y'know that?" He said. Tyler let out a giggle. He wrapped his arm around Josh's waist and rested his head on Josh's shoulder.
He was really fucking happy.
//
"That was a long, long day", Tyler sighed, hiding the bag of rainbow attire under his bed before letting himself flop down on the bed.
Josh got on the bed too, but didn't lay down.
"Wanna go to sleep or wanna talk?" He asked. Tyler thought about it. "Really wanna do that second one but I'm kinda terrified so I kinda just wanna sleep to avoid it too", Tyler admitted.
"What are you afraid of, Ty?" Josh asked, tilting his head a bit. Tyler shrugged. "Just... that I'm gonna lose all of this once we've talked", he softly spoke.
"Why don't we just start from the beginning, and see where it takes us and if you want to stop talking for now, we will", Josh proposed. Tyler nodded. "Yeah, lets do that", he said, sitting up.
Josh shuffled a little closer to Tyler as they sat opposite of each other. "Is this making you more nervous?" Josh asked, since it was a lot more confronting to sit opposite of him than to lay next to him as they stared up at the ceiling.
"Yeah, but that's okay", Tyler said. "You start."
"Alright well, first things first", Josh said.
"You're gay."
"I'm gay."
"You like boys."
"I like boys."
"Same goes for me."
"Same goes for you."
"I like you."
"Wait what?"
Josh looked down at his hands in his lap and smiled softly, because of nervousness.
"Remember when you showed me your scars for the first time? Or we'll, when I discovered them?" Josh asked. Tyler nodded. "I touched your skin right beside the scars. I never really wanted to do that."
Tyler frowned a little. Did that mean Josh didn't like seeing Tyler's scars? Or be reminded that they were there? Did-
"What I really wanted to do, was just... softly kiss them", he softly spoke. "Because it was heartbreaking to see that. It broke my heart to realize that you were feeling so dreadful on the inside, without telling anyone about it, that you felt like that was the only way to distract you from some of that pain on the inside. That it was the only way to cope", Josh said.
"And when you later told me that you felt lonely and wanted someone to hold you and tell you that everything would be alright eventually... you have no idea, ty", Josh softly chuckled. "You have no idea how much I just wanted to be able to pull you in a tight hug and kiss your temple and tell you that you'd be okay again. I wanted to snuggle you so badly and just let you cry so you could let it all out and I'd keep telling you that you were gonna be okay. Because you're so strong, and so incredible, and I'm so proud of you. I wanted to lay in bed with you cuddled up to me while I pressed kisses on your hair and caressed your sides and held you close and I wanted it to last forever", Josh said.
"But I'm not a girl, and I thought that was what you were looking for. And I hated the fact that I wanted to be that person so badly but I'd never be able to be that person for you 'cause I wasn't what I thought you were looking for at all. And I certainly never expected myself to offer the cuddling like I did. I knew it'd only mess with my heart more but I wanted to do it anyways 'cause I wanted to be there for you, Ty", Josh said.
Tyler was speechless. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what Josh meant. He didn't know what those words meant. He didn't know what to think or feel 'cause he didn't understand it.
"I'm sorry but I don't understand", Tyler softly said, scared that Josh would think he was dumb or weird.
That was definitely not the case, though.
"Do you want me to say exactly what I mean, Ty?" Josh asked. Tyler bit his lip, 'cause he was insecure. Scared Josh would think differently of him. "Yeah I really do want that", he softly said.
Josh grabbed Tyler's hands. He gave them a light squeeze and Tyler looked up into Josh's eyes.
"I'm in love with you".
Tyler let out a soft sob, his bottom lip quivering. He hated himself for crying so much but he couldn't help it. A few tears rolled down his cheeks and he leaned over, wrapping his arms around Josh's neck. "C'mere baby", Josh softly said, pulling Tyler in his lap. He hugged the boy tightly and Tyler's light crying turned into crying hard and loud and heavily. He was sobbing into the crook of Josh's neck as he hugged him so tightly that Josh thought he was never gonna let go of him again.
Which he would definitely not mind at all.
~~
Bruh it's almost 4:30 AM so I'm gonna go to sleep quickly so I can hopefully get TOP tickets tomorrow!!
What did you think of this chapter? I wanted to write more but since it's already almost 4:30 I decided to publish this already & write more tomorrow (:
If you're also trying to buy TOP tickets tomorrow; good luck! Hope you'll be able to get tickets!
Love you guys so much.
Word count: 1162
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Closet Thoughts (a short Joshler story) 🏳️🌈 ✔️
फैनफिक्शनHAPPY PRIDE MONTH! I wanted to write a one-shot for pride month, but I turned it into a short story because pride month and my gay readers deserve more than just a one-shot. Tyler Joseph is a great high school kid: He's popular, is great at basketba...
