"Life would work so much easier if you just told me where you're hiding."
"Uh, that's sorta missing the whole point of hide-and-seek."
"Then why are you talking to me when I'm supposed to be finding you?"
"Because you couldn't find me even if you had a radar strapped to your chest."
"Did you just compare me to a suicide bomber?"
"I'm hecka glad I don't live in your brain because how did you jump to that comparison from what I said?"
"Ladies and gentlemen, Clifford Mershire, four years of college education under his belt."
"Um, I wouldn't be throwing stones, Miss I-didn't-realize-there-are-twenty-six-letters-in-the-alphabet."
"We don't speak of those times."
"Oh, you mean last week's mind-blowing discovery? Okay."
"I swear, I'm gonna kick your ass once I find you."
"Take out your highlighters everyone and highlight the words 'once I find you'."
"Oh, yeah, ass-kicking needed."
"You're so aggressive. Taking out your pent-up anger on poor, innocent me."
"Well, I can believe you're poor hence the useless college degree, but innocent? Anyone who's had sex ain't squeaky clean in my book."
"And how do you know I'm not 'squeaky clean', mh?"
"So you're gonna sit here and admit that you're a twenty-five-year-old virgin? Got it."
"And there's nothing wrong with being a twenty-five-year-old virgin."
"I dunno, sounds like something a twenty-five-year-old virgin would say..."
"How the hell did we get on my sex life anyway? In fact, why am I talking to you about my sex life?"
"Because clearly you need some pointers from a pro, like myself."
"You're thirteen!"
"Jk, bro, I'm messin' with you. You can pick your eyes off the ground since I know they're probably on the ground- not that I can find you..."
"You're nothing like I was at thirteen."
"Yeah, and I make sure to thank Jesus for that fact every night."
"Hardy-har-har."
"God, can you just come out already? This is annoying now."
"Well, I'm not gay or bi or anything so..."
"I meant come out of hiding! You know what I meant."
"Okay, fine, since you want to act like a baby. This better? You know, next time I'm just going to-hey! Why are you attacking me!?"
"I told you I was gonna kick your ass once I found you."
"Okay, okay, I give up, I surrender. Geez, I see those anger management classes didn't work on you."
"Eh, you can't say I'm not a woman of my word."
"Double negative."
"You're a double negative."
"You good? That was a weak sauce comeback right there."
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"...what's up?"
YOU ARE READING
Joan
Fantasy"I don't like to think of myself as this kickass, badass Lara Croft, no. But I try not to be your typical every day Jane Doe. So I where does that leave me? In the middle, I guess. So there. I'm just your atypical- yet completely ordinary- girl with...
