No Never Yes||Prinxiety||

I Meet The Parents- Virgil

"When you love somebody, you take a chance just for them, chance just for them"

"Dragons' den?" I raised an eyebrow. "That's not exactly a nice thing to call your parents."

"I'm entitled to my opinion of them. They're homophobic in the worst ways and it's just..." Roman shook his head and smiled as if he had never spoken. "It doesn't really matter. So, did you want to go now?"

"I'm going to get ready. Did you really think I was going to go meet your family looking like this? Shame on you, Princey," I grabbed my bag and walked over to the restroom. "I'll be out in a minute."

I locked the door behind me and immediately started to wipe the eyeshadow away. The piercings were the next thing to come away and I marveled briefly at how different my face looked without the enhancements. I wouldn't say it was bad. It was simply... different. I took off the purple ripped shirt and changed it out for a plain white one with a loose-fitting plaid over the top. The black jeans were switched with blue. Finally, I knew I couldn't avoid it any longer. I clamped my mouth shut and opened the hair dye. I sprayed wildly around the purple tufts of hair. It took coats and coats but eventually, it was completely covered up. It was all done. I looked like an all-star American boy. It was horrifying.

I knocked on my side of the door. "Are you ready for the transformation of the century?" I called out.

Roman answered. "I don't know, am I?"

I rolled my eyes and threw the door open. I took pleasure in seeing Roman's jaw drop. It was understandable. He took a few steps over to me and shook his head. "I have no idea who you are. You are not my wonderful boyfriend, Virgil. Right?"

"Appearances can be deceiving." I shrugged. "So? Does it look good?"

"Virgil, you look fucking fantastic. My parents aren't going to know what hit them."
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We stood on the doorstep of Roman's enormous house. It was your standard McMansion, seemingly devoid of any real charm. Roman let go of my hand and rang the doorbell. Roman's mother answered the door and the scene looked directly out of a 1960s sitcom. She was wearing an apron and her husband was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand.

"Oh, you must be Virgil!" She seemed very happy to see I didn't look like a layabout.

"Yes, ma'am, it's a pleasure to meet you." I stuck out my hand for a handshake and she accepted.

"Ah, come in, my boy!" The father came over soon after, shaking my hand as well. "Good firm handshake you have there."

"Thank you so much for inviting me," I ran through the words I had carefully rehearsed so many times in my head. "I hope you didn't go through too much trouble for me."

"Not at all, I made some steak!" Roman's mother looked me up and down with a slightly wavering smile. "You're not vegetarian, are you?"

"No, ma'am." I was glad I could at least answer that truthfully.

"Oh please," she gushed. "Call me Ruth. And that's Patrick."

"I hope you're hungry!"Patrick walked away.

"Oh yes." I turned to follow him and his wife when Roman yanked me back, looking at me confused.

"What the hell? You're acting like... a straight boy on the football team," he said in such a way I couldn't tell if that was a bad thing or not.

"Don't sound so surprised, now come on." I pulled him with me and we all sat down, Roman directly next to me.

"So, Virgil, do you do a lot of theatre?" Ruth said, and I could tell at exactly that moment, the interrogation had begun.

"No, I was told by a teacher to do it. I don't spend much time in the theatre." I was careful to choose my words so it didn't sound like I was bashing Roman's passion, but I also wasn't a gay theatre boy.

"What do you do with all that spare time?" Patrick leaned in closer as he hacked at the steak with an odd intensity.

"I just focus on my school, and sometimes watch sports." I internally cringed at that last part, but apparently, that was a straight enough response that they bought it.

"Did you catch the game last night?" Ruth asked and I could see Roman's breath catch at that. That was it. I didn't know about sports. Or so he thought.

"I did, they really came back from their losing streak. I'm glad they finally fixed up their act." I replied very casually. Roman looked at me with confusion while his parents beamed. I was smarter than that. I had looked up the football game last night. I knew it would eventually come up in conversation, so I came prepared.

"A boy that knows his sports. Good!" Patrick raised his beer bottle to me in salute, and I returned the gesture with my water glass.

__ __

"Bye!" I waved to the couple standing in the doorway as I walked over to the Princeton's car, tightly clutching the container of brownies Ruth sent home with me. Roman was walking next to me at a respectable distance, completely silent. I got in the car and Roman started the engine and pulled down the driveway. After a beat, he started shaking his head with a small smile creeping across his face.

"What?" I finally asked after the silence. "What are you doing?"

"My parents asked you the most blatant questions. They pretty much asked you: 'Hey, are you gay or not?'. And you..." he sighed. "Gave the most straight answers I have ever heard you say in your LIFE."

(my autocorrect tried to change straight to straightforward. I know what I meant to write)

"I'm not sure what you mean." I turned away and crossed my arms, not even trying to hide the mocking tone.

"Don't bullshit me, Virgil," Roman started laughing. "You? Sports?! How in the hell did you come up with that? I live with my dad and I don't even know sports!"

"I told you I was going to be prepared. And I was. So there." I stuck out my tongue at him, just like he had done earlier that day. "Now focus on the road. I would like to get home in one piece."

"I won't make any promises to you." He quipped but I noticed a change in his attention.

The rest of the ride home was spent laughing over my very thorough fooling of his parents. ("'Good firm handshake you have there'", Roman mocked. "What the hell does that even mean? Did he think you were going to flop around like limp pasta?!"). I was almost sad to see us pull up to the front of my house. I was about to step out, but Roman threw open his car door, ran around the front and opened it for me, smiling.

"Why, thank you." I stood in front of him. "Dinner was a pleasure."

"We should do it again sometime. But just me and you." Roman kissed the top of my forehead and my toes curled.

"I'll think about it," I kissed him gently. "But I have to go now and get this shitty hair dye out of my hair."

"Go ahead, raisin oatmeal cookie. I'll see you tomorrow." He gave me one last hand squeeze before getting back in the car and driving off. I shouldered my backpack and opened the front door to see my mother sitting on the dining table, legs crossed and stirring a cup of coffee.

"So," she looked up at me with a devious grin. "When was I going to find out about the mystery boy?"

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I had this written and it got deleted! AAA. But I found an old version I had saved somewhere and just fixed it up a little. So if it's not to the usual standards, that's why. Hope you liked it. Non-emo Virgil is terrifying. But the parents love it! Take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!