A Beautiful Disaster

Chapter 46: Sweet surrender

ABD46: SWEET SURRENDER.

"Don't let yourself being affected by the societies opinion. It's your life so don't let them to control you by their words."- gelyenbalm.

☆☆☆☆☆

I COULD feel the pain on my whole body. I don't know what time it is but I know that it was still night because of the darkness outside.

Natulala ako nang aking maalala ang naganap sa hula ko ay pitong oras na ang nakalilipas. I gave myself to him. I losts my control and I losts my plan. My plan is to make him drunk and drown and left him after, but things didn't happened as I expected because of his hot kisses I lost myself and give myself to him. He was my first and I don't know if he was the last. I don't have a plan to know my last because I don't have a plan to stick on marriage for the last.

Pinakiramdam ko ang aking sarili. Wala ako na kahit na anong pag-sisisi sa nangyari. I am not drunk and I know that he is not drunk too.

I am hungry but I can't stand up to find some foods on the kitchen because I could feel the sore down there. Sa tuwing gumagalaw ako ay kakaibang sakit ang aking nararamdaman sa parteng iyon. Pagod rin ang aking katawan kaya't hindi na ako kumilos pa.

Aeron was lying besides me and he's naked and that was the proof that there's something happened between us. I could see his face because he was facing me. He's handsome when he's sleeping. I feel the joy in my chest, ganito pala ang pakiramdam ng gumising sa umaga na ang mukha ng mahal mo ang iyong makikita.. but things were different. I love him and I know he do love me too. Syempre, hindi naman sya mag-eeffort na ikulong ako dito kasama nya kung hindi nya ako mahal. But our love wasn't enough for us to stay as a lover. This relationship won't lead in a great story ending just like a fairytale. Hindi naman porke't mahal nyo ang isa't-isa ay dapat kayo na ang mag-sama sa huli. Yes, we maybe loved each other pero hanggang don lang iyon. This love was full hatred and revenge, hindi ito ang love na pinapangarap nino man. I am maybe a heartless woman before but I have my own standards of a man. And Aeron fulfilled it but he also fulfilled the out of standards that I've set on a man.

Muli ay nakaramdam ako ng antok ng pagmasdan ko ang kanyang mukha. I feel so sleepy, so I close my eyes to forget the problem that I am going to face for tomorrow.

NAGISING ako ay mataas na ang sinag ng araw sa labas. Lumingga ako saaking tabi ngunit wala na si Aeron doon. He maybe so proud of himself because he finally get what he wants.
Siguro naman ay makaka-alis na ako sa lugar na ito. Sapat na siguro ang nangyari kahapon para maka-alis ako dito. Dahan-dahan akong naupo sa kama. Nagulat ako ng nakasuot na ako ng panty at loose shirt. I cursed, is he the one who wear that to me? Syempre sya! Pero bakit hindi man lang ako nagising?

Kahit nahirapan ako ay pinilit kong tumayo para hanapin ang damit ko pero wala iyon sa kwarto. Sa loob pala ng silid ni Aeron kami natulog kaya't wala akong maisusuot na damit kundi ang damit nya.

I could still see the red stain on the bed sheet. I wanna rid of it so that there's no proof that he took my virginity last night.

Naiinis ako, naiimagine ko kasi ang itsura ni Aeron pag nakita nya ako. Sinuot ko ang tsinelas na naroon at saka lumabas ng kwarto. Nagugutom na ako kaya kakain muna ako.

Paika-ika akong bumaba sa hagdan at nagtungo sa kusina. I saw him there cooking something.

Tuminggin sya saakin at lumapit. He tried to hold me but I raised my hand and do a sign 'stop'. He distance himself and he continue what he's doing. He was cooking some bacon based on the smell that I smelled.

Naupo ako sa upuan na naroon at kaagad napangiwi ng makaramdam ng sakit. "Ouch." I groaned. I maybe captured his attention because he immidiately went to my place and he asks me "why? Okay ka lang?"