The Love We Choose

Chapter 10

I'm going to be a father. Those words had been cycling through Huan's mind since Lynne told him at the end of last week.

Once she left him by himself, he had begun his research on all aspects of first pregnancies in women in the 25-30 year age group. Digging through the extra room which he used as a combination office/storage space, he pulled out all his old med school textbooks, notebooks, and any medical journals he could find on pregnancy. By the time she texted him to let him know that she had arrived back at her duplex, he had gone through the last of the callaloo in the container leftover from their dinner the night before and had compiled a list of all the possibilities of what could happen in this pregnancy both positive and negative. After some careful thought as to her current mental status, he decided not to share it with Lynne. But I will run the possibilities by a few colleagues in the hospital's OB/GYN department.

Walking into his kitchen and pouring himself a glass of whiskey, he stood in front of the refrigerator where his copy of the ultrasound photo was taped next to an array of special photos taken over the years: a family photo with him at five-years-old sitting on his mother's lap with his father standing behind them, twelve-year-old Huan and his father standing outside his uncle's store, him and Lynne in their matching gold cap and gowns at High School graduation making goofy smiles at the camera while holding their diplomas, his 21st birthday with his male cousins and roommates where Lynne sent him a golden money shooter with $288 in singles to spend at a strip club, college graduation with his parents standing on both sides of him beaming with pride, another college graduation photo this one with Lynne jumping on his back having driven straight from her own graduation in Michigan to NYC to surprise him, him holding his younger cousin Rose in his arms when she was a toddler, him and Lynne at a Yankees game where she showed up in head-to-toe Boston Red Socks gear to taunt the crowd, him and his parents at his White Coat Ceremony, him and his mother at his medical school graduation, and a picture of him and his entire family (biological and acquired over the years) at his medical school graduation party. A small smile had appeared on his face. At that moment he knew that their baby didn't know how lucky it was already. It would be surrounded by family and love its whole life.

And now, he was spaced out at the Nurse's Station thinking about the baby when he should have been focused on his charting and prepping the afternoon's surgery, a repair and reconstruction on a 39-year old man's leg that had been run over by several motorcycles. Huan let his mind drift to the very real fact that in several months time, he would be blessed with a child. A child that he would be responsible for and would love unconditionally. Perhaps a son with his love for baseball and his mother's flair for numbers? Or a little girl with her mother's organizational skills and his love of science? Or would their child be completely unique and love the arts? Maybe a professional musician or dancer?

"Dr. Zhang. Dr. Zhang!"

He was brought back to reality when a slender, brown-haired nurse in purple scrubs appeared in front of him. "I'm sorry, can you say that again?"

"Dr. Levater needs you to change the dressings for the gunshot wound patient is room 2109 and then do the check on Mrs. Karenna in room 2120 she told him with a huff in her voice.

"Thank you for letting me know." He offered up a smile as she nodded and walked off. You need to focus, Huan. Get it together.

Would the child favor his looks or Lynne's? The vivid image of a beige-skinned son with Lynne's freckles across the nose of his face smiling at him with caramel colored, almond-shaped eyes akin to his own as he ran around a park danced in his mind. My son. His heart leapt at the possibility.