4.I can't be a homeless G-man.

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Songs:
•Eleanor Rigby- The Beatles
•High by the beach- Lana Del Rey

"Penelope's house of how may I save your ass today?"

Jane frowned into her phone. Hotch had given just over day to make her decision and the stress of that had gotten to her a little bit. She was currently sat by an open window in her apartment, a glass of gin in one hand and joint in the other. She normally smoked weed for medicinal purposes. The many doctors that she had seen over the years had given her pills and potions for her insomnia, but nothing seemed to work. A few years ago, someone suggested cannabis and she didn't any harm in trying it. It didn't help her sleep, but it made her feel better when shit got bad. So here she was, stoned at 7am, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Uh hello?" She picked up the card from the table next her and read the name on the back. "Is this Penelope Garcia?"

The line went quiet for a few moments before Garcia spoke again.

"Jane Hanson?"

"Yeah, how do you know my name?"

"Hotch, I mean Agent Hotchner said I might be getting a call from you. Congratulations on joining the FBI by the way." Penelope smiled into her headset.

Jane huffed lazily into her phone. "I won't be joining the FBI if I'm homeless." She muttered.

"Well sugar I think I can help you out with that." All Jane could hear was keys clicking and the other end of the phone before Garcia spoke again. "There are a few apartments near the academy, but they all seem a bit expensive. Let me know your budget and we can set you up with the best one."

"They don't have to be the best, just somewhere I can stay until I get my shit togeth-"

Jane was cut off when she heard a door open on Garcia's end of the phone. A deep voice hummed down the line.

"Hey mama, me and Prentiss are going to grab a coffee, do you want anything?"

"Uh, I'm kind of in the middle of something Morgan."

"To busy for your favourite G-man?" Jane could hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice. She was tired of this conversation already and all she wanted to do was take a nap.

"She's helping another G-man." She said coldly.

Garcia laughed nervously through the phone. Hotch had warned her about Jane's temper. The last thing she wanted to do was annoy Jane before she'd even met her. "I'm really not supposed to say anything about this, but I've never been any good at keeping secrets. Jane, meet SSA Derek Morgan. Derek, meet Jane Hanson. The new member of the wonder squad."

"Whoa hold on. New member since when?" Morgan asked. He wasn't upset or angry, just curious. He was used to people filing in and out of the BAU be he always seemed to be the last person to know about it.

"Unofficial member. Garcia, found any apartments?" Jane asked. Garcia seemed to be forgetting that she couldn't join the team if she wasn't living in Virginia.

"Hanson if you need somewhere to live, I've got an apartment you can rent. I finished decorating it a few weeks ago."

Jane paused. "Isn't the FBI supposed to be a full-time thing?" She couldn't believe what Morgan had just said. Her mind told her that he had to have an ulterior motive. Probably just trying to get in my pants.

"Yeah, but I had a little free time." He smirked down the phone.

"If I get to Virginia and there is no apartment, I swear to god I will shove-"

"Easy there, tiger. I'm not messing with you. It's a few blocks away from here so you can walk if you don't have a car yet."

When Jane didn't reply Morgan thought that he'd won her over. What he didn't know was that on the other end up line, Jane was falling asleep. A few too many cups of gin were in her system and it was making her drowsy.

"I'll let the wonderful woman Penny G here fix you up with all the details. I'll see you soon agent Hanson." He kissed Garcia on the top of her head and left the room. What the hell did she do to get into Hotch's good books? He thought.

"Okay so I'll send you the address and all the paperwork for the apartment and the route to work. Hotch wants you in on Monday morning so he can brief you before we get any cases."

"Yeah okay, I'll uh, I'll be there."

"Pip pip and cheerio." Penelope said in a British accent before ending the call. She closed her eyes and put her head in her hands when she realised what she had done. Well done Penelope.

Jane cringed at Penelope's words. She had no idea why Americans insisted on doing accents whenever the spoke to her, but it really pissed her off. She threw herself onto her couch and looked around the room. Definitely not going to miss this shit hole.

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