Sinful Angel

Chapter 17: Madison

Days later and I was still shaking on the inside from the power that Luke had over me. The scene in the last apartment played in my head repeatedly, torturing me with how easily I'd given in to his command. I knew that if I'd said the safeword, he would have listened and interrogated me later. When he'd asked me what was wrong, I really hadn't realized what was going on. From the very first moment walking into the apartment he'd thought about getting, I'd been grumpy. And it'd gotten worse with each apartment. I knew I'd been acting like a bitch, and yet I hadn't been able to stop myself.

Then, he'd made me submit, telling me exactly what he was going to do to and with me, giving me a little bit of a reprieve. Not only that, but he'd followed through. As he always did. I'd come about four times in the car on the way home, and the most I could remember was the haze of pleasure I'd been in. I hadn't cared about whether or not people could see me, even when Luke had teased me with the possibility. He'd helped to run me a bath and get me in it, ordered food, and then waited until it got there and I was in some comfy pajamas before he kissed me on the head and left.

But more than anything else, it was his parting words that had hit my heart the hardest.

"I've never stopped loving you, Madison. I'll always be here for you, however you want or need me."

He'd left, and I'd cried. For everything we'd lost, for how we'd ended, and for how I knew I'd fallen right back in love with him, if I'd ever stopped, even though I'd told myself over and over that I wasn't going to go there. What a stupid woman I was. Yes, I loved Luke with every fiber of my being. I'd realized that the reason I'd been so grumpy while apartment hunting with him, is because all I wanted was for him to come home, to our house, and I couldn't have that.

And because of that turmoil inside me, I'd been completely avoiding Luke since he'd left. Was I a coward?

Yes.

And that was something I'd have to live with until I could face him and tell him that things between us were done.

At the moment, I was sitting on my couch with blankets wrapped around me, waiting for Celeste to come over. She'd demanded to come keep me company, noticing how down I'd been in the last few days. Not having the energy to fight with her about it, I'd told her the door was unlocked and to come in. It wasn't too much later that I heard the door open and shut.

"I'm down here!" I called the words out without looking, flipping through the channels on TV to find something interesting.

"You look comfy," said a deep, manly voice.

I screamed, leaping off the couch to face the intruder. Or, at least I tried. I ended up getting tangled in my blankets and falling to a heap on the floor, wrestling with the fabric so I could run for my life before the man reached me.

"Calm down Angel, it's just me." Luke's voice registered in my brain, and I stopped struggling against his hands as the deftly untangled me from my own mess. I was sure that I was an unattractive shade of red by the time I made it out, but I acted like everything was normal. Fake it until you make it, right?

"Fancy seeing you here. But Celeste is going to come over soon, so you should probably go."

"No she's not. And I'm not leaving either."

"Wh-what?"

"I asked Celeste to help me, since you've been avoiding me."

"N-no I haven't. I've had w-work stuff going on."

A wry smile crossed his face as he moved to a squat position in front of me. "That little stutter is always going to give you away, Angel."

A frustrated groan left me. "Fine, yes I was avoiding you. That usually means you don't want to see someone, not that they should come barging into your house and force their presence upon you."

"It does when I know that if I leave you alone to stew about everything alone, it's not going to go well for either of us."

"Whatever," I grumbled and moved from the floor back to my spot on the couch. I picked up the remote again, but Luke snatched it out of my fingers. "Hey!"

"No Madison. You don't get to just ignore this. We need to talk."

I squirmed at the determined set of his face, his Dom voice out in play and making my insides feel all squiggly. I wasn't sure if I was nervous or turned on. Probably both. But... he was right. I motioned for him to take a seat, and he did. Of course, he pulled me into his lap afterwards, but I chose not to fight it. I mean, it felt nice to be held, even though I knew the conversation wasn't going to be fun.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I was... scared."

"Of me?"

My eyes had been planted firmly on his chest, but at those words they shot up to meet his concerned gaze. "No! Never that. I was scared of myself. Us together. My feelings."

"What feelings?" I could see the relief pass over his face at my reassurance, and I couldn't help but close my eyes when a hand of his came up to run through my hair.

I waited as long as Luke would let me before I answered. A small tug on my hair had my eyes opening again. "I guess, just everything between us. We have a lot of history, and then with all the sessions, I've been getting confused in my emotions. And then what you said the other night. Honestly, it kind of fucked me up a little."

"You mean when I said I loved you?"

"Yeah. It just felt really overwhelming."

"Understandably. I wasn't trying to scare you off, so I'm sorry. It was supposed to be more comforting than anything." His arms squeezed around me tightly, and I smiled at the feeling.

"I just tend to over-think. You know me," I said with a light laugh.

"Look at me, Angel." I did as he asked, and my heart pounded in my chest at the look on his face. "I don't need you to say anything else right now, but I love you. I'm sorry if this scares you, and I'm going to stay and help you through it if it does. But I need you to know. I don't need you to say the words, and I don't want you to worry about how I feel. I just want you to be happy, okay?"

"Okay," I whispered. It was a lot to take in, but having him here for it and hearing the sincerity in his voice was calming for some reason. "Can we be done now?"

"Sure, Angel. Wanna watch something?"

"Yes please," I said with relief.

And that's what we did, just like we had when we'd been dating and even married, and it felt perfect. I fell asleep like that, cuddled in Luke's arm, safe and warm.