Dangerous Obsession - ziam/zarry(mpreg)

Chapter 22 - Doubt

Zayn.

It's been a while and only one thing is making me go crazy. I mean i can't help it. We are talking about thoughts here our inner demon if we don't have anything to do it haunts us. What can i do its natural. I try to ignore thoughts but not so easy. Its like Liam will never leave me alone. Even if his not around the things he did never leave me alone as if he wanted it and i know he really wanted me to suffer. It reminds me ever fucking disgusting moments that i wanna erase from my life. Seriously dating liam is what i regret. It was the biggest mistake of my life.

But with Harry every moment feel like dream and if its dream i don't wanna wake up from my deep slumber. Every pain, every scar, every bad memories fades away only the best stays. I have everything in my life and that everything is Harry, MY Harry. I don't wanna lie to him but I'm scared what if he leaves me, what if he started hating me i don't have anyone that cares for me except Niall and Louis but still Harry is closer than them. I seriously wish i could tell him the truth. I don't like hiding it from him. But i just can't.

Liam said he knows i can get pregnant but how does he know that. I mean i don't remember him taking any samples from my body for testing. It requires blood for that right?. Maybe i don't know. But still how the fuck he knows all this. I should be happy i can get pregnant but I'm scared more then getting happy. I really want my own child but not with Liam. He clearly said he won't be having any mercy if we met again. I know he will try to get me pregnant because it will make me stay with him. But isn't it too pathetic?. Using an innocent child even if that's just thinking how can he get this horrible?.

I'm so stressed. Harry can feel it too. He ask me everyday if something is wrong or am i sick but of course as stubborn as i am i refuse to open up i just shut him up by saying everything is fine i just miss my family. So pathetic excuse for the bitchy reason. But you can't blame me for thinking negative. I'm just scared to lose someone who is too good to be true. He can get anyone he want, he is good- looking,smoking hot,fucking sexy he can get anyone but still he is sticked with me im just looking out.

"What's wrong Z. You looked stressed"  Harry came to bed and slide next to me putting blanket on both of us. He looked concerned and i feel guilty for all this bullshit I'm putting him through.

"Nothing haz. Its just you know i  think why always me. What did i do wrong haz to deserve this. Why am i always the one to go through this bullshits. Why can't my life be normal. Why am i sticked with an pysco Ex-boyfriend who is behind me..who haunts me every night,who can't see me happy..why me I'm tired of all this haz i wanna be happy with you, with our friends".

This was partly true i've been thinking this from the day i was raped. And I'm not lying to Harry just leaving some part from the whole truth..ok not some part but major part of it. But can't talk about that.

"Babe, look god is testing your patience. You don't deserve this Z. You deserves to be happy. You know no one deserve what you had gone through. But we can't change any of what had gone but we can change our future just by leaving all our past behind and living the brightest future ahead of you. We can't wait for the happy moments to arrive but we have to create our own happy moment with the one you love to be with. Don't think about those things Z..they are gone and will never come back. In life everything happens for a reason and it teaches you one or two things from it but don't let it affect you. If you are willing to change your life for good you don't have to look for reasons it will happen eventually you just have to keep trust on yourself. You don't know how much you will live, you can die today, tomorrow , in a second or minutes or maybe a year you don't know so just live your life to the fullest Z. Every passing moment is expensive. No materials, no money can give you happiness just spend time or doing what you love can give you. Remember one thing Z if you are strong no one can get you even if you are broken. I'm always here for you Z"  i was in tears. How can someone be this good at easing the ache. I mean i don't wanna hold back know i wanna live my every moment with him, in his arms.

I pulled him towards myself and smacked my lips against his with so much force that he was shocked. I was never the one to initiate something like this so it has taken him by surprise. But after his shock state he became aware of my lips and started hungrily kissing me. Gosh i missed this. He was teasing my bottom lips. Asking for entrance but i decided against it and kept my mouth close. He growned. This is sooooo fun. He couldn't wait so he just started roaming my body exploring every part with his cold fingers it made me shiver with the contact of his cold finger with my hot body. God i want more. My fingers fisted his shirts   pulling him more close if that's even possible. I moaned oh god so pleasure. He squeezed my ass and i gasped. He took this chance and entered my mouth tasting every corner..tongue battling but guess who won. Of course Harry. I can feel urgency through his kisses..we had a long make out session whole night i guess. It took my every stress away. That's why i like to be with him. He completes my world.

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Here i go. Next chapter maybe tomorrow or i don't know when if i get time i will update it till then enjoy. ❤