Tank (Hell's Legacy MC Series) book 2

Jacob

Everyone around me had these great guys in their lives. They were happy, they were in love.

They were the centre of someone's world. Me I was just messing around with a guy who didn't know what he wanted. Couldn't decide if he was into dick or pussy.

Looking across the yard, I watched as Pup, North and Pyro messed around with a car. They were fixing it up for and had been for some weeks. 

I spent a lot of time at the clubhouse with Willow and Cyndi these days. They practically lived here. Cyndi spent more time at home since she had Phoenix, but since they were here so often it meant I was here just as much. I was here so often I was beginning to think I should prospect for the club. I already had my own room, I helped the girls out with cooking and laundry. 

My parents had kicked me out of their house when I had told them that I thought I was gay. I packed up all my stuff and went next door to Willow. I cried as I told her what had happened. She went and told Slammer and Molly everything, they gave me the spare room at their house, told me it was mine for as long as I wanted it for. Slammer had also given me a key for a room at the clubhouse, said I'd need to help out around the place as rent but I was welcome to both rooms. I told him I was gay, he laughed and asked if I was into him after I said no, he said then why should I care, son. You can't change who you are anymore then I can change who I am.

"Hey Pup" Cyndi yelled out shaking me from my thoughts.

Lifting his head from under the hood of the car, he gives her a wave before going back to what he was doing.

"What's got you so deep in thought?" Cyndi asked placing a sleeping baby Phoenix in my lap.

I loved this little guy, on a bad day a snuggle from him made everything seem ok. He was a gorgeous little boy.  

"Not a lot. Just feeling lonely, I guess" I sigh, breathing in his baby scent

"Why don't you go out and meet a guy," she says encouragingly

"It's not that easy" I snap, looking up at her and then over to the guys

"It's not that hard either Jacob" she snaps back, following my line of sight.

Wolf walks over to the guys at the car throwing each of them a can of Bundaberg Rum. Shadow, Ice, Rooster and Acid join them grabbing a can.

Willow walks over to North putting her arms around his neck, he gives her his undivided attention, leaning down to take her lips with his. Longing hits me in the chest. I want that, I want someone who can take me as I am. Love me like I deserve to be loved, without hiding in the closet. I want to be the centre of his world.

Ryan looks over at me giving me a smirk and nodding his head in the direction of the clubhouse, that was the signal to go to his room. God that man got to me; he knew it too. He pushed me away and pulled me back in and every single time I went back for more. I never really called him by his club name. I mostly called him Ryan in private, around everyone else, I used his club name

"I already fell for someone Cyndi, so going out and meeting guys won't help," I say looking down at Phoenix.

"Why didn't you ever tell us. Who is he?" she asks

"He doesn't want me in that way Cyn. I'm his dirty little secret."

"Jacob"

"It's ok Cyn, I'm too in love with him to let him go, plus we're just having fun" Kissing Phoenix on the cheek I hand him back to his mumma, before walking away.

****

Walking up the stairs, I'm constantly looking over my shoulders, making sure no one sees me. Walking down the corridor I head towards Ryan's room. Stopping at his door, I pull my phone from my pocket, double checking no one is around before I slip into his room.

Ryan's room is pretty basic there's a double bed against one wall, a bedside table sits next to it, with a lamp on top. His sheets are black, he has a blue doona on the bed, that isn't made. A huge TV hangs on the wall above the tallboy. An Xbox One, a stack of games and a controller sit on top. A huge picture of a Harley Davidson sits on the wall above the bed. On the back of the door hangs a poster of the Raiders his favourite football team. His clothes were thrown everywhere, hanging off the bed, the tallboy and scattered on the floor, they laid where he had thrown them when he had taken them off. A washing basket full of clean clothes sits in front of the tallboy waiting to be put away.

Sighing I pick up the basket and start folding his clean clothes putting them away as I go. Grabbing the laundry hamper from the bathroom, I start picking up all the dirty clothes and throwing them in the basket. Pulling his blankets off the bed, I give them a good shake before making his bed again.

I always tidied his room a bit before he turned up. He'd walk in look around, smile and shave me against the nearest wall, smashing his lips to mine. He'd get all growly. He liked when I got all domesticated for him.

I often thought I should leave it, but I hated walking in here and seeing everything all out of place.

Grabbing my phone, I let him know I'm here.

Ryan: Be there in a sec! Get undressed, I want you ready for me.