What The End Looks Like | ✓

17: dean

 Fuck. When I told Chase to go for it, a part of me didn't think he would. I really didn't think he would. But he actually fucking did it.

I have no reason to be upset, but I am. Lacey looked...incredible tonight. She looked incredible for him and that hurt. She is an enigma, my enigma. Not Chase's.

Except she's not mine.

I hit the steering wheel hard, feeling my blind rage take over me like it does every time I lose my temper. I have no sane reason to be upset. We're friends.

I think I'm going insane.

But the idea of her being with someone else makes me sick to my stomach.

And the worst part is I think I'm with Paige. I've been blowing her off all week or maybe she's been blowing me off. I think the last time I was with her, Paige said something about having an art show coming up. We are supposed to hangout tomorrow morning. She wants to try again to find me an outlet to prevent me from lashing out at people.

Paige knows where I stand, how confused and uncertain I am about everything going on in my life right now. The only stability I have is Lacey. I can't lose her.

I slam my car door, flinching as I hear the sound. I'm tempted to drink myself into oblivion tonight which honestly sounds like a pretty damn good idea.

I just didn't account to find a sobbing Cassidy on the couch. All thoughts of Lacey go out the window when I see her clutch the pillow to her chest to try and calm herself down. I've only seen Cassidy cry a few times. Not after her ex hit her, not after she found out her mom had passed seven months ago, not after she was arrested and the media crucified her.

The only times I've seen Cass cry is when it's related to Maddox. I immediately sit next to her and pull her into my arms. "Cass what's wrong?" I say softly and she curls her fingers into my shirt to hold on. "What happened?"

Everything was fine when I saw them together Monday. They were good, better than good actually. Cassidy and Maddox have been great.

"He's going to h-ha-" She starts to get out, confirming my suspicion that it was Maddox's fault my best friend has been reduced to a puddle of tears.

"What did my brother do?"

She sits up and stares at me with wide eyes. "He proposed."

Now I'm confused. I'm really extremely confused. Cassidy is upset that Maddox proposed to her? Oh my fucking god I'll never understand women. I need to stop befriending them because I am so confused.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

More tears fall from her red eyes and I brush her blonde hair behind her ear. "No," She says hoarsely and I don't understand. What is going on?

I stare at her trying to gauge what could have happened. Did he get the wrong ring? I knew the ring was important, but I didn't think a proposal could do this to anyone. "Cassidy I'm going to be frank with you; I need you to use your words so I can figure out how to fix this."

"H-He-Maddox. He wants kids." She says stronger and I try to understand how that's a bad thing. "I can't." Cassidy's voice falls to a barely audible whisper.

"You don't want kids?"

A quick shake from her head and more tears answer me. "I can't have kids Dean. I found out this morning. My-My periods have been irregular and I thought I was pregnant. I went to the doctor-" She breaks down into heart wrenching sobs and I mostly understand.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to talk about it. If you're not ready," I say holding my best friend tightly as she falls apart all over again.