What The End Looks Like | ✓

34: the aftermath

grayson

It's been three days since Lacey died. It happened faster than any of us thought it would since she was only home a week, but it happened too slow for her. On her last day, each breath she took sounded agonizing. She was in more pain than she let on, but she never spoke. Lacey's eyes stayed shut and I wish I could believe she went in her sleep, but the truth is that I think she was too tired to open her eyes.

So since then, I've been following her instructions. Ruth and her parents have been going through the apartment and the boxes she'd packed up. Dean has taken full custody of Boo. Her body was taken away to be donated for medical science an hour after she died in her bed, surrounded by the people that love her.

It's all been going exactly the way she wanted it to.

The only thing left to do is deliver the letters she wrote for everyone.

Thus leading me to the current moment where I stand outside her apartment, waiting to go inside and hand her family her last words. Tessa is waiting patiently next to me because she knows it's better to say nothing and just be there.

I was supposed to wait three days to give them time to accept what happened. It coincidentally falls on the same day as her service. They wanted to have a small private one here for the people that knew her before her parents have a larger one back home. I don't know if I've even accepted what happened. When my dad died last year, it didn't register until Tessa and I had left the cemetery after the funeral. We were on our way home to our apartment and I couldn't breathe.

Now I wonder if that's what Lacey always felt like.

We worked late so many nights and I had no idea. I know that was the point because she didn't want anyone to know, but she worked so hard. I should have handled things differently after she came to me about Tessa's family company problems, and I'd take it back in an instant if I could.

"Gray we don't have to go in if you're not ready for this," Tessa says gently, taking my arm.

I shake my head and clutch the envelopes in my hand. I had to open and reseal Dean's to slip in the paper she gave me the day after the hospital let her come home.

"I'm fine. I can do this for her. It's the least I can do."

I open the door and walk in, immediately spotting Dean talking to Cassidy. Lacey's mom is in the kitchen preparing more food even though there's plenty on the counter. Her dad is talking to Ruth and her boyfriend. There's a few others milling around that I recognize from the party, including Linc.

They all look as good as one can expect.

Who do I approach first? The best friend, the boyfriend, the parents? I don't even know who Sam is. I left my letter at home; I haven't been able to bring myself to open it yet.

Tessa squeezes my arm tightly, "You got this. I'm going to go talk to Cassidy. I'm here if you need me."

I lean down slightly to kiss her forehead; she's so damn tall that it doesn't take much effort. It certainly saves my neck. "Thanks Bella."

I take in a deep breath before approaching her mom. Her letter's on top so it might be best to get the hardest one out of the way. This could really go either way. Every interaction we've had before this have not been pleasant. She needed to blame someone for what was happening with Lacey and she couldn't blame Lacey.

"Um, Mrs. Edwards, I know that I'm probably the last person you want to talk to. I'm so sorry for your loss. Lacey was...she was great; I wish I'd known her longer." I say softly, hoping to do this quietly.