In gears of 'pacifism'

Chapter 10 - Choirs that deafen

I made a call to my Dad. It wasn't pretty long that I had heard his voice from the phone, but it was long enough to hear his voice of proud tears! He was very proud of my actions and service. But yet there was one small question he did ask after all of things we did talk – "One thing I never got a link of......You are a Masters Graduate Engineer in Electricals. An Engineer with a decent rank and also with training and experience. You also had an executive rank directly which people usually take long to reach with common technical. And when everything was profitably fine, why did you changed the path of your life and chose to serve in here? Even though you again got an executive rank here now, but you played with your life so many times. Why did you choose this path even when everything was excellent?"

My answer......it was pretty much a question I had asked myself many times as I said – "Not sure why I did this! Still I am finding a reason I can answer. But I cannot express the reason right now which made me take this decision. I did think very well before taking this decision, but I just cannot tell it right now. That one emotion which might have crossed my mind, that one link to one of my past.......few things cannot be expressed in words, Dad. Right now I might be standing with a smile on my face to witness that you are very proud of me for everything. But still there's one person we still miss, right? Even though it's a past of nearly 26 years now......No, we shouldn't be emotional here, regardless it might be just a memory now. It does lies right in the heart. But, I want a small promise from my side."

He first hesitated to accept my promise as he already figured out that it will be relation a situation where I would be either K.I.A or M.I.A in any of Service missions, but later he accepted it somehow as I said – "I might be the one to fall at any point. In this life, the degree of graduation is just a tag which exists. The day I would fail to return home. You will attend my Funeral with an utter pride of been one of the most important personality I ever had in my life! And you won't cry, make me a promise that you won't cry! Promise it to me, you won't cry but you will accept my fall to the world! And....another favor to ask. Every of my possession I currently own, please divide it between you and Kate too. Just keep it with you as a memory of the happiest man who ever lived his life! And any of property I might possess further from your side, please hand over a small of its part to Kate and rest of all things I would plead to disintegrate and donate in charity. Life is not permanent, Dad! And I want people to remember me if I ever fail to return home. My objective with a slightly partial side will be to protect Kate and my team at any cost. Just promise me these few things......the last things I can ask to you, Dad! More like an insurance.....But at the end of the day, regardless I might have been pretty independent and fulfilled on my own, I can never be totally independent from you and that's the specialty of you! Well, I just had a little fight with some mafia whose consequences still give a pain in the back, but I am glad that I made it out safely! Staying alive might be my primary objective in a mission, but keeping the team safe is my priority too along with Kate. Don't worry, Dad. Kate would ......I guess, she will be.....yeah, she will be like a daughter too you too, I mean pretty much similar...." To which he says cutting in my talk – "Even though you got surprisingly mature and understanding the world faster than I expected.....been a very good person. Yet you sometimes make me feel to punch you. I mean....damn. Kate is already like a family member no, I hope we all will meet together. And she's already like a daughter to me now, I mean you love her so much, I can feel. But still.......damn these tears cannot stop. But still, return back home, a wish I will be always praying to god. Because Kate might be an addition in our family, yet it is a father's heart to be worried about his son or daughter, restless feelings in the care. Taking care of Kate when time may come is my responsibility and it's my promise. Any moment I am asked by Kate or you for any kind of help.....I will help! Be it anything! I will help! I will keep my heart strong and I will help....."