Maddison Winchester: Journal 8 {Supernatural} (Editing)

4 Run to the Hills: Part 3

"Maddi?" someone asked as they shook me.

"Huh?" I asked groggily as I rubbed my eyes awake.

"You fell asleep," Nate said, "Come on. Let's get you to bed."

I looked around the room to see Garth was no longer around. "Where's Garth?"

Nate shrugged. "He was tired too. I told him to go to bed, and I'd help you."

I yawned and sat up. "I can just sleep here."

"No, no," Nate said, "You can just stay in my room. We didn't have time to get you set up before you got here."

"Ha." I shook my head. "No way."

Nate sighed. "Maddi, I didn't mean stay with me. You can have my room, and I'll take the couch."

"Nah, I'm still good," I said, "I don't need to owe you anything."

"Wait... okay..." He shook his head. "You won't owe me anything. Just take it. No strings attached. I just don't want you to have to sleep on the couch."

"I'm good." I shrugged.

Nate sighed. "Okay, why are you acting like this?"

I stared at him for a moment. "I'm still pissed at you. A couple hours of fun doesn't change that."

He shook his head. "Just let me explain—"

"Nate, Bobby, died, and somehow you made it about yourself!" I yelled.

He furrowed his brow and shook his head angrily. "I did not! I left. You're the one who followed."

I nodded. "I wanted to make sure you were okay!"

"I didn't ask you to!" he yelled.

"Are you kidding me?!" I shouted and stood up from the couch. "I was worried about you, and I didn't want you to just leave!"

"Why?!" he asked.

I furrowed my brow and hesitated. "Because!"

"Because why?!" he yelled.

"Because... I loved you too!" I shook my head and shoved him. "Screw you!"

We stood there and stared at each other for a moment.

"Uh... is everything all right in there?!" Garth asked from down the hallway.

"Yes!" Nate and I shouted in unison.

Nate looked at me sympathetically and shook his head. "I can't even tell you how sorry I am."

I shook my head, feeling emotional. "You can't do that to me again." Tears started to stream down my cheeks. "You left, and everything went to hell. I needed you... so much, and you just... weren't there."

He reached and went to pull me into a hug. "Maddi, please—"

I moved away from him. "No, don't touch me." I looked down and took a deep breath. "After you left—" I shook my head, not wanting to say.

I looked at him for a moment, not ready to tell him about Crowley and the demon blood.

"What?" he asked.

I shook my head and started to tear up.

Nate pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back, just letting me cry into his chest.

"I miss him so much," I cried.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you," he said and kissed the top of my head. "I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to talk to you so badly, but I knew the way I left things was awful. All I thought was... you deserve better than me. I knew I needed to figure myself out before I got involved in your life again."