Let Go (Hoseok X OC)

Chapter 35

Ray POV:

Over the next four weeks, spring was beginning to arrive in Korea and the time for Ray to choose her program was coming closer and closer. By the second week in April, Ray had narrowed the programs down to three that looked promising. She was excited about the opportunities since she had been wanting this as long as she could remember. Ray was in constant contact with the university. Her advisor had given his advice on the next best possible course of action for her to finish up the degree. She still had about 6 weeks to make a final decision, but since the programs were competitive, she wanted to get her application in early.

Ray had tried to bring the topic up to Hoseok several times, but he had managed to skillfully dodge the conversation, changing the topic. Ray didn't want to admit it, but the constant avoidance hurt. He didn't seem to be interested in what was going on in her life and it made a wave of frustration rush over her each time. It almost felt like he didn't care even though she had showed interest in his music, in his career, in his life.

One evening, shortly after Hoseok left, Ray flopped down on the sofa, running her hands through her hair in irritation. She had tried to talk to Hoseok again, but once again he had changed the conversation, talking about the photoshoot they had done that afternoon. If Ray didn't know any better, she would have thought Hoseok was starting to lose interest in her and this was his way of pushing her away. But deep down she knew that wasn't true. Each time he left, Hoseok would pull her into his arms, holding her tight and kissing her senseless as though he thought she would disappear. He repeatedly told her how much he loved her and how lucky he was to have her in his life.

Ray checked the time, seeing it was 10 PM, meaning it was almost 7AM at home. Her mom would just be arriving at the middle school where she taught English Language Arts to 6th graders. She picked up her cell phone and pressed her mom's contact, bringing the phone up to her ear.

"Hey munchkin," came the soothing voice from the other end of the line. "What's up?"

"Just... just wanted to say hi. I feel like I haven't talked to you in while," Ray responded.

"I know, but it's been crazy with this whole COVID thing. We've only been back in classes three weeks and I'm already wanting to tear my hair out. I swear. What was I thinking moving from 4th to 6th?" her mom replied, an obvious smile in her voice.

Ray laughed at her words. Her mom had taught 4th grade for the last several years and switched over to 6th grade when her school district opened up a brand new middle school. Unfortunately because of COVID, her mom had been teaching remotely since March of last year. The new school year even began remotely. However, finally with vaccines in place, the schools were able to reopen. "You know you love it," Ray countered. "You definitely needed the change."

Her mom laughed on the other end of the line. "You know me too well, don't you?" she asked. "And I know you. Tell me what's going on."

Ray sighed, knowing her mom wouldn't stop until she explained it all. "I'm... I'm worried about what's going on with Hobi. I have to choose the program for June, but every time I bring it up, wanting his opinion, he changes the subject. I listen to him talk about his members, his music, his family, even his dog. But he wont listen to me," she finally gushed out, unable to hold anything in.

Her mom hummed from the other side of the line in response. "Did you think about why?" she questioned, her voice gentle.

"I'm worried that he's second-guessing this all and trying... trying to push me away," Ray admitted, hearing how silly the words sounded actually coming out of her mouth.

"You're kidding right?" her mom asked, the disbelief clear in her voice. "Have you ever stopped to think that every time you mention your program, it's just another reminder to Hobi that you're leaving Korea, leaving him?"