Russian Roulette: Family secrets [2021 version]

Ch. 33: I need five minutes

It had been the best day of Gareth's life.

It sounded cheesy.

But it was as simple as that.

He thought the twenty-four hours he had spent with Mackenzie for their deal were the pinnacle of joy he could ever achieve. Even when she had left him in the end, he thought them the best possible. A solid number one on a list of very few highlights in his life.

How mistaken he was.

That day. His wedding day with Mackenzie; hearing her say 'I do', seeing her that overjoyed with dinner, gifts, and everything, made him smile goofily.

The sex had been mind-blowing.

The first part of playful massaging and then working her up, seeing her enjoy her punishment. Yes, that he had loved. The second part, where his temper threw her in at the deep end of his darkness, made him delirious with her acceptance.

Gareth was the first to admit he had been a complete wanker about that dumb, innocent threat. Mackenzie had meant nothing by it. He understood that, and she even apologized after, when she had realized. Yet, the hurt and fear had taken him over and thrown him into a maelstrom of unbelievable insecurity and fears, and he had reacted like a bloody prick.

He lay there, looking at her sleep. Mackenzie had to be knackered from what he had put her through. The energy and stamina she had showed him would forever amaze him. How anybody could be that strong and so compliant, he would always have difficulty understanding. He worshipped and applauded her for walking into his world and brightening it up.

Bringing light to his darkness was her greatest gift to him.

She looked beautiful in her peaceful sleep. Her hair was in a mess, her makeup smeared under her closed eyes, and yet, she was a vision. Everything about her was simply too captivating for a mere mortal like him. Mackenzie's face was fully relaxed, her long lashes rested on her cheeks, and she was still puffy from crying.

Gareth hated her tears but loved her crying in those situations. It was most beguiling to watch and listen to. How she channeled the pain and frustration and cried out between the moans, and her body's positive reaction to him and what he did. She had appeared a lot more vocal with him, not that he needed it, but it helped him to read her, though.

Mackenzie stirred a little as she felt someone watch her. She let out a small sigh, licked her lips, and kept on sleeping.

"Good girl," Gareth whispered to her. She needed rest. She deserved it more than anybody. If it were up to him, she could take some from Jace, who had rested more than his fair share.

Just because he had gotten his rocks off, it did not mean he had forgotten about the outside world. The responsibility of keeping his men safe and ensuring their future weighed down on him. By marrying Mackenzie, he had accomplished a pivotal step to keeping them protected. It did not remove the pressure; it just gave a brief respite from his worries.

But it did not take away his guilt.

That constant knot in his stomach, every time he thought about Jace, the pain he had been in, how lonely he must have felt in those moments, thinking he would die in that cold parking lot. And Phoenix, his friend, his family. The pain he went through waiting for Jace, the guilt of that festered inside Gareth.

"Your teeth are noisy, my love," Mackenzie softly mumbled, still looking as if she slept.

Gareth had not realized he had ground his teeth.

"I'm sorry, Malyshka. Go back to sleep." Gareth smoothed her hair back and pulled the covers up over her shoulder, more for his sake than hers, because the sight of her breasts and the red-striped skin went straight to his groin.