Embracing Your Poison

09

"But your son is hard like a steel. It's hard to enter his life." I said and smile and Engineer Axel also smile at me.

I will admit. I care for him even though I really hate him. I want to be the person that he will think of calling pag hindi niya na kaya.Dahil pwedeng bawas yun sa pagiging pathetic niya.

"I know, Amstel is like that. Once he make a choice hirap na hirap na siyang baguhin."

"Like choosing to be stuck to that place. To the place where the woman he love didn't love him at all." I said and sigh heavily while thinking of Amstel's face everytime he will see Saffira with Kalen.

"But someone entered that place, that someone who will make him leave that place. And it's you." Natigilan naman ako doon at walang maisip na isagot.

"He came here to tell me that he passed. Even if I already expected it." he must be really proud to his son.

"Ah, Engineer. Can you describe Amstel as his father?" I ask all of a sudden kaya parang nagulat din siya.

"First, you can call me Tito, instead of calling me Engineer or Engineer Bandiala. Dahil baka anak ko ang lumingon." he said and laugh kaya natawa na lang din ako doon.

He's right. They are both Engineer Bandiala. Pero as if namang lilingunin ako ni Amstel kung sakaling tawagin ko siya.

Baka ang pumasok lang sa isip niya ay 'lason yan lason wag ka lilingon' that childish man.

"Amstel is our only son, a miracle to us. I remember he told me that he want to be like me. And he did. A loving son and a man who can love endlessly. Namana niya siguro yun sa Mama niya. Kung magmahal sobrang lalim. Naalala ko na sobrang hirap na kunin ang Mama niya. Because his Mom is in love to the man who is already dead." Nagulat naman ako doon but Tito is just smiling at me na the past is not hurting him at all.

Sana si Amstel din, sana dumating din yung araw na makikita ko si Amstel na nakatingin kay Saffira at Kalen ng hindi na nasasaktan at totoong masaya na para sa dalawa.

"It's hard to make her fall for me, but I did when Amstel came. It's like nung dumating lang si Amstel doon nagsimula ang storya naming dalawa. That is why Amstel is a miracle for me." 

You are loved Amstel, pero mas gusto mong pahirapan ang sarili mo.

I bid my goodbye dahil mukhang may kailangan ng gawin si Tito. And Nigel is already looking at me confused dahil mukhang nakikipag heart to heart talk ako sa tatay ni Amstel.

Hindi ko alam kung saan na ako pupunta dahil natatakot pa akong magdrive sa kung saan-saan. That is why I just choose to come back to my unit at doon mag-isip kung anong pwedeng gawin.

I can't have a vacation yet sa mga iba pang places dahil baka biglang may kailangan sa renovation or what. And all of my friends I know they are all busy. Ayoko na mang gulo. Kahit na gusto ko na talagang tawagan si Kalen at istorbohin siya.

Papasok na sana ako ng unit ko when someone call me.

"Veron!" Nagulat naman ako ng tumigil mismo sa harap ko si Amstel. Nakatingin lang siya sa'kin at may gustong sabihin.

"What? Magagalit ka na ba sa'kin because of what I said to you?"Umiling naman siya doon and still looking at me.

"Why would I? You just said the truth." Tumango naman ako doon dahil totoo naman talaga mga sinabi ko.

"And why are you here then?" I ask and he avoided my eyes pero binalik niya din naman and speak.

"Can you help me?" Naguluhan naman ako sa sinabi niya and it looks like nakita niya yun kaya sumagot agad siya.