Eager Wings (Destiel)

Chapter 5

A/N Well, I've had a shit week so I thought: why not write two chapters instead of only one? And here we are, with two new chapters for today. I hope y'all still like it, and well, have fun I guess? xD thanks for reading, and comment/vote please :) 

It was dead silent in the car after Dean’s speech.

Dean just kept looking at the road in front of them, Cas was too tired and now that it was silent again, he was able to fall back asleep.

Sam thought about what Dean had just told him. He had been right; Sam wanted to have a normal life. But now, this was what his life looked like and he couldn’t do anything but accept it.

He didn’t know Dean still blamed himself for what happened to them. Dean had sounded mad, telling Sam all his thoughts of this and at the end, his voice just broke.

And Sam understood it; he didn’t want this life for Cas either. But what else were they supposed to do? Leave him somewhere with a normal human being who would never understood all Cas’ questions?

No, Sam still thought it was the best if Cas just stayed in the bunker with them. It was the safest place and they couldn’t just leave Cas for himself. Besides, throwing Cas out of the bunker would cause problems for both Cas and Sam and Dean. He was a part of their family now.

As Sam looked out of the window, he noticed it was getting dark already. They had been driving for a pretty long time.

After another hour of silence, except for the music Dean had put back on, the bunker came into sight. It was full dark outside. Dean put the keys out and went inside the bunker.

Sam let him go. He knew nothing good would happen if he tried to talk to Dean right now. He got out of the impala and put the door of the backseat open. “Hey, Cas? Wake up, we’re at the bunker.”

Cas murmured something and rubbed in his eyes.

“C’mon, once we’re inside, you can go back to sleep again,” Sam promised.

Cas just looked at him. “Where’s Dean?” he asked.

Sam didn’t know what to say. “He’s tired, he’s been driving for a long time and he didn’t get that much sleep last night either.”

Cas knew Sam was lying, he’d known the Winchesters for too long to not know when they were lying. He decided to not confront Sam with it until he had talked to Dean.

Dean would not be happy knowing Cas had heard him and Sam’s conversation, but eventually he would get over it. right now, the problem was what to do with Cas, who hoped he could stay in the bunker. He liked being around Dean.

He also liked Dean himself very much, but Dean had asked him not to say anything to Sam yet.

Cas and Sam got the bags with Cas’ stuff and went inside.

“Do you have a specific wish for a room or can I just give you a random one?” Sam asked.

“I don’t mind anything, as long as it has an actual bed, I’m fine,” Cas answered, happy he could sleep in a bed after all those nights on the floor at the Gas ‘N Sip.

Sam walked Cas to his room, put the bags down and turned around. “You need help with anything?”

Cas looked at him. “If you don’t mind… last night I couldn’t sleep and Dean tucked me in and it was very comfortable. Would you mind doing that for me?” he knew Sam was tired, but now that Dean wasn’t here, he didn’t know how he would be able to fall asleep.

“Of course, Cas. I’ll gladly help you,” Sam said, polite as always. When Cas had put off his shirt and put on sweatpants, Sam tucked him in. “I’m sorry I left you with Dean yesterday, it’s just… I was very very tired and I thought you could handle him,” he explained.

“It is okay, Sam. Thanks for doing this. Sleep well,” Cas replied.

“Goodnight Cas.”

Sam wasn’t that tired, so he decided to get a drink before he went to bed. When he walked to the kitchen, he saw Dean has had the same idea. Dean poured him a drink and they sat in silence.

“Dean,” Sam finally started.

Dean just looked up, knowing Sam would want to talk about what had happened earlier.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I can take care of Cas if you want.”

“Hm.” Was the reply he got. He hadn’t expected much more, Dean was still Dean after all. Which is why he was surprised when Dean suddenly started talking.

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. it’s just, I will never be happy I have you to watch my back, to have my brother talk to me, sit with me, go wherever I go… But I’d give up all of it to just get back and let you live your life with Jess. You deserve to be happy and-“

“Dean.” Sam interrupted him. “Dean, don’t you see? I am happy. I’m happy here, we have our own bunker, I have my brother, and I have my best friend. Sure, I miss Jess. I miss Bobby, and I miss Kevin and all the others we lost.

But you know what? I wouldn’t turn it back. I belong here, Dean. Next to you, hunting. This is what has been my destiny. We didn’t grow up to live a happy life. We grew up learning to make other’s lives happy. And that’s what I’ll be doing. That’s what we’ll be doing.”

It was silent for another minute.

“And about Cas… he can stay here while we do our job, maybe do some research. This place is the safest of all, and you know that.”

Dean sighed. “yea it’s not like he’s gonna get his grace back soon. I can help him with humanity, but you gotta deal with all those psychical questions.

 I have honestly no idea how to answer them. I mean, I don’t do anything but protecting you, saving people, hunting things. The family business. The Winchester business,” he added when he saw Sam looking like he always did when he had a good comeback.

“Cas is family. But no Winchester. Therefore, Cas is not gonna do anything with hunting besides some research, period. No Winchester, no hunter.”

Sam mumbled something.

“What did you say?” Dean asked.

Sam just threw him a bitch face. “I said, for how long?” he answered.

“Sam, I have no idea what you are talking about right now.”

Another bitch face, even worse than the bitch face he got before.

“Oh really. You don’t? Because I see the way he looks at you, Dean.”

“He looks that way at everyone, Sam. He’s human, a fallen angel with no grace. He has no idea how all of this works, and looks at everything and everyone like it’s the most beautiful thing ever made.

Man, I’ve seen him looking at freaking flowers that way. And then he asked me why people cut flowers, kill them, and give them to other people so they can watch the flowers slowly die! How am I supposed to answer that?”

Sam laughed at the imagine of Cas, being totally confused and Dean not knowing what to do. Dean had never brought flowers to anyone.

“Actually, that’s a pretty good question,” Sam stated, which earned him an are-you-fucking-kidding-me-look form Dean.

“yeah sure, I’m heading off to bed, my head hurts. Night, Sammy.”

When Dean was away, Sam sat in the kitchen for another moment. “But there is something with you two, and I’ll figure it out,” he mumbled. He put the glasses away, and looked to the kitchen once more before turning off the light and going to his own room.

When he went to bed, he thought about Cas’ question and chuckled lightly. He could almost hear Dean say “dammit, Cas!” as he did more often when he didn’t know what else to say. Sam smiled, and closed his eyes to drift off.