Eager Wings (Destiel)

Chapter 20

Of course, they couldn’t expect everything was back to normal as soon as Cas saw Dean’s face.

 And that’s why they were sitting down at the dinner table, Cas, Dean, Sam and Charlie. Dean sat next to Cas, but there was space between them and he looked like a total wreck.

It was 3 days after they had all come back. 3 days and Cas still hadn’t changed. He hadn’t talked to Dean, hadn’t touched him, and most of his time, he was just… somewhere.

Dean could remember it all perfectly. One moment, he had woken up, lying on the couch, seeing the most important people sit with him: Sam, Cas and Charlie. The next moment, he had woken up and he was alone. It was dark already, and Dean felt guilty for just falling asleep after what happened to Cas.

He had searched around the bunker, Cas’ room first, then his own. When Cas wasn’t there he moved on to the kitchen, the library, and all the other rooms Cas could possibly be. After 20 minutes, sitting with his head on his hands on the edge of his bed, he realized Cas was an angel again. And so, he prayed.

“Cas, I don’t know if you’re busy right now, but… if you are free, can you come by?”

He heard the familiar swoosh of wings and opened his eyes to see Cas standing. Cas looked broken.

“Hiya, Cas,” Dean said.

“Hello, Dean.”

God, he had missed that.

“What did you need me for?”

“Are you busy?”

“No.”

Something was off about him.

“Alright… do you need anything?”

“Dean, I am an angel, I can take care of myself again,” Cas replied.

Dean was silent for a moment. “Do you want to spend the night here?” he finally asked, not sure how Cas would react.

“I don’t sleep.”

That hurt. When Cas had been human, he had leaned on Dean. He needed Dean to teach him how to function, how to keep himself clean, how to not overcome as a giant asshole. And now, Cas was an angel. An angel who was perfectly able to take care of himself and didn’t need Dean any more.

Dean let his head drop down and sighed. “If you want to, you know you’re always welcome here, right?” He looked at his hands, folded in his lap.

“Of course, Dean. Good night.” Cas was gone before Dean could even look up.

He sighed again and slowly turned around to his bed, empty as it had been since Cas got captured by Metatron.

Metatron.

Suddenly, Dean thought of Cas’ voice, saying he wasn’t worth anything and how everything was his fault. That son of a bitch! Metatron had clearly been messing with Cas’ head, and Dean didn’t know how long it would take to get Cas back. His own Cas.

He didn’t sleep that night. Neither did he the second night, and the third was as bad. He had been praying to Cas, telling him he was so much more than worth it, saying he’d very much like to have Cas join him. They didn’t need to do anything, Dean just wanted… Cas.

Cas had been gone for weeks, and all the time, Dean had been worried. He had missed Cas like hell, and now Cas was back and he still had to miss him.

Sam and Charlie had seen Dean change from happy to the mess he was now within 3 days. They both knocked on his door every few hours with breakfast, lunch, or dinner. They brought him water, beer and even whiskey. But Dean didn’t touch anything. When he started to turn down the whiskey, Sam and Charlie decided they had to do something about it.