Why Me?

Sober

Lisa's POV

As soon as I got back from my condo, I drowned myself from alcohol.

I still can't look at her directly

I am still hurting!

The pain seems doesn't want to go

I drowned myself that I didn't know what gotten to me that I found myself drove to my old penthouse, looks like I forgot that Jennie is living there.

She didn't changed the door code so I got in easily, I was so drunk that I didn't know what I was doing.

I did recognized Jisoo right away but Jennie didn't, I just recognized her when I started to cry infront of them.

Because of the effect of the stupid alcohol, I spilled my feelings infront of them, specially Jennie that wasn't supposed to hear it all.

When I think I was sober and I already let out the pain that I was carrying for a long time now, I was about to leave when Jennie hugged me from behind.

"No! No please hon, don't leave me again please. I love you. I didn't stop loving you, please" Her gripped tighten even more.

Like she was afraid to let me go again

No!

Jisoo did leave the penthouse for us to talked.

I cried even more hearing those from her, I wanted to hug her, but something is stopping me from doing so, hearing that she still loves me, hurt my ego and a stab to my heart.

I tried to swat her arms that was wrapped around my torso, I composed myself before I speak.

"No Jennie, you didn't love me anymore. It was just pity and guilt" I felt her head shaking on my back.

"No, no please. I love you please just believe me on this please" it's hurting me the way she plead. I successfully swat her arms.

"No, not anymore. Stop it please. Let me go, I was the only one hurting here. Just free me" she cried even more. I decided to leave the penthouse right away, as I exited the door, Jisoo was still there leaning at the wall, she looked at me worriedly and was about to get near me but I quickly run to the lift to leave the area.

I'm sure that Jennie needs her more, I drove myself again to god knows where. I just found myself on the area where you can see the whole city.

I drained myself again from crying, this is the second time I cried again after I leave her from two years ago. When I decided to leave her. I shut myself too and burried myself on work related to forget the pain I was feeling.

Why would it have to be me?

Why would it have to be always me?

I was the only one was left all the time

Was I really not worth it?

Why people always chose to leave me?

Was I really not worth to be loved?

Why?!

Why me?!

Jisoo's POV

As soon as Lisa head out the door, I saw hurt in her eyes, she's in so much pain I wanted to comfort her but she run towards the elevator so I didn't budge following her but instead I get inside her penthouse again. I found Jennie crying hard on the floor.

I was hurting with what is happening with them too, I was here when they started and I was there too when I saw them teared apart, when I heard all the pain that Lisa was carrying, all I wanted to do is to caressed her back to console her. But I know how Jennie is hurting so much too.

But a part of me is wanting to believed what Lisa told, that Jennie stops loving her the moment she had an affair with Kai, But a part of me too is believing Jennie, that it wasn't just guilt or pity. She still loves Lisa, it's just that she was hurt by the time she thought Lisa wasn't giving her some attention before.

As I hugged her from crying hard. I helped myself not to cry infront of her too.

"Jisoo, I love her, Please, tell it to her please" She sobs, I continued caressing her back, hushing her from crying too much.

"You're okay. I'm here" I console her, I let her cry out loud in my arms up until she dozed off from crying" I had a hard time leading her to the couch to help her sleeps in a comfortable position. I put a blanket over her as I was caressing her face.

"Maybe you should have to let go. A part of me is telling that maybe Lisa was right. You maybe was feeling guilt and pity on her, maybe you stop loving her a long time ago. You just haven't accepted that you were the one who hurted her" I continued caressing her face.

"I witnessed the journey you both had. I was there too when you were so happy being with her. I was there when you two had a tough time. But I was there when I witnessed you being happy with someone else, I was there too when I saw Lisa break down the moment she sees you with someone else. I was there when you drowned yourself from crying. But you deserved more Jennie. Lisa too" I sighed.

I wish I can tell you all of this personally

But I know you would just be hurt

"Lisa loves you so much. She gave you everything with her, so she was the one whose hurting more. I'm sorry if I can't help you with the pain you were carrying. I was hurting too seeing the two of you" A tear started to fall on my eyes.

"Maybe freeing each other is the best for the two of you. Freed yourself with the pain. She already forgave you, you should forgive yourself too".

"Maybe that was the reason why you haven't let her go. Forgiving yourself".