Why Me?

Seashore

Lisa's POV

When we get back to our hotel room, all of us are knocked out right away, the next day of that we went to a flea market here, afternoon since no one is excited to get up first thing in the morning, we had our dinner too to one of the famous restaurant here, like yesterday, all of us are so tired and needed some time to rest.

But I get up in the middle of my sleep, I tried to sleep again but I couldn't find the rhythm anymore, I glanced at Jennie who is sleeping so soundly at the bed.

I was sleeping at the floor after the first night

She did insist on sleeping beside her but I insist onto the floor

I went out to our hotel veranda to get some fresh air, but the sound of the sea waves is inviting so I decided to grab my phone and a jacket, I think I need to walk at the shore.

I looked over to Jennie, she is still sound asleep.

I bought a can of beer in the nearest bar stall then I decided to stay by the seaside for a while, I was just enjoying the sound of the waves with some beer and the moonlight alongside with the star.

I looked like a heartbroken here by the seaside, holding a beer

"Are you with someone gorgeous?" I looked up to the person talked behind my back to see.

It was Jisoo and Rosie

Holding a can of beer with them too.

"Hey" They seated beside me.

"What are you doing here alone?" Rosie asked.

"Nothin' you?" I asked them back.

"We decided to walked by the shore since it's our last night here, but then we saw you sitting here alone" Jisoo uttered while looking at me.

"What's bothering you?" Rosie asked while caressing my back.

"I told you, nothin' " I gave them an assurring smile.

"Where's Jennie?" Jisoo asked looking around.

"Knocked out" They chuckles.

"If it weren't for Jisoo, I would be sound asleep too" Rosie sipped on her can beer.

"I'm afraid to walked by myself, I didn't know that this monkey will consider walking alone" Jisoo even slapped my arms.

Rosie shifted to my front so as Jisoo who slighty turned to face me while we seated at the shore.

"You know, you can talk to us right?" Rosie held my hand, Jisoo nodded.

"I know" I gave them a weak smile.

"Is it Jennie?" Jisoo asked sincerely, I didn't respond to her and decided to stare at the bright moon.

I let out a deep sighed "I'm just afraid" I start without looking at them "Afraid of so many things" Now I looked down on my hand where they decided to hold.

"So many what if's, I don't know now if my mind is working properly" I chuckles a bit "It's confusing me" I looked at them straight.

"Is it because you are becoming soft for her again?" Rosie blurted.

"Am I?" I asked confusedly, they nodded slowly.

"Even if you deny so many times, your eyes and your action speak for you" Jisoo utter, she gave me a slight smile.

"Your heart says, you still need her" Rosie add.

"You are smiling again, even more now" Jisoo sweetly smiled.

"That smile of yours is real. And we even saw how you cared for her. You even comforted her when she was crying. I mean we would comfort her too, but it was different when it was you" Rosie gave me a sweet smile too, remembering the scene where I comforted Jennie when we get to the horror booth.

"You still love her right?" Jisoo asked, I didn't respond to her.

"We can see it. What's stopping you?" Rosie asked.

"I told you, I'm afraid" I looked down "Afraid that if I gave her my heart again, she will just going to break it. You see how vulnerable I was the first time she broke me" They nodded.

"Afraid that, she will just have another reason to leave me" They were just listening to me "I don't think I can handle another heartbreak from her".

"You know how much I love her. I still do. I never stop loving her, she was my first love afterall" I looked at them, My eyes is starting to teared up now.

"What if, she will have a reason to find another again?" I asked.

"What if, what she expected to me, is still not enough?".

"What if, she realises that she was just feeling guilty all along?" They nodded again trying to considerate my reasons.

"You are just overthinking things" Rosie utter "You are jumping into conclusions, But we can't blame you though. We know how hard is this for you too".

"I won't force you to believe me, but I was there the whole time she was resenting when you leave. I was there when she shut down herself too when you chose to freed her. Unlike you who chose to prioritize your business, she buried herself in her room for over six months, she shut down her life because of you leaving her, without giving her another chance. I mean she may be commited a huge mistake. But she's regrets it big time Lisa" Jisoo longly explained.
"I'm not blaming you too, like what we have said, we know how hard this is for you too. But I was there to proved to you how she regretted her stupid decision back then" she added.

"Lisa, I told you, you are like a dead kid. I think she was the only one who can bring you light again. I mean we are not forcing you to get back with her. It's still for you to decide. Take it easy. We are just here for the both of you. Whatever you decide." Jisoo nodded in agreement, I gave them a sweet smile

"Do you really think, I will smile more if I gave her my heart again?" My smile is not leaving my lips again.

"You are already smiling, just by the thought" Rosie point at my cheeks.

"You answer" Jisoo squeezed my hand, but a sweet smile never leave her lips too.

I nodded then continued sipping at my can beer again until the last drop, they did too.

"How about another one?" Rosie excitedly asked, we just laughed.

"You know she will get upset if she knew we didn't invite her" Jisoo referring to Jennie.

"Did anything happened this night?" Rosie asked confusedly, we laughed at the thought again.

"She wouldn't know" I say standing up "I'll get another drink" They cheered.

Our supposed to be two drinks ended up with a four each, we just enjoyed talking with each other, laughed at the sillyness we have, it really help me miss this kind of freedom, and stress that i've been gaining for the past year.

It's was past 3 in the morning when we decided to call it a night.

When I get back to our hotel room, Jennie is still sound asleep, not fully aware of my sudden disappearance.

I sat on the bed next to her, I chose to caressed her cheek, I know I had a few drinks but I just felt I needed to do this.

"Should I really gave you my smile again?" I whispered, enough not to wake her up.

"Are you still deserving?" I touched every part of her face, like I was remembering her feature, she scrunched her nose, I smiled by the sight.

Yeah, maybe I know the answer already