11 • What If I Want to Try?

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South and I were sitting on the couch, watching reruns of the 2011 Bruins Stanley Cup playoffs

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South and I were sitting on the couch, watching reruns of the 2011 Bruins Stanley Cup playoffs. But, instead of getting way too involved in the game like he used to do when we were kids, South kept staring at his phone.

"We should play a pick-up game next week," I suggested, tossing a piece of popcorn in the air and catching it in my mouth. "You know, let me kick your ass?"

"Uh huh," South replied. Smiling. Not his usual shit-eating grin either.

As casually as I could, I leaned in like I was gonna grab more popcorn, but snatched his phone out of his hand instead.

"What the fuck, West! Give it back!"

"I wanna see what's more important than hockey!"

I scrambled off the couch, racing towards the bathroom, but South had me around the middle before I made it past the kitchen.

"Give it back!" my brother shouted, tackling me to the ground. I rolled onto my stomach and zoomed in on the picture as the phone was ripped out of my hand.

Camilla?

"Damn, South," I said, more than a little shocked. "Care to explain why there's a picture of you and Camilla together—inside an airplane?"

He shoved his phone in his pocket after getting to his feet. "No. I wouldn't."

I stared up at him from the carpet, a laugh sputtering out. "Ooooh, somebody's got a crush! Look at your face. You're practically beet red." South just shook his head and wandered back to the couch. "Oh come on, South. Spill. What happened?"

"It's not a crush," he gritted out, unwrapping a lollipop and sticking it between his lips. "You wouldn't understand, so just drop it."

I wouldn't understand? Was he kidding?

Unrequited love and you-wouldn't-understand-crushes were practically my speciality at this point.

I'd bled my heart dry. I'd told my brother just how in love I was with Stella. Hell, he'd even videotaped me dancing and singing Spice Girls onstage just so I could send it to her.

I plopped down next to him on the couch. "Try me."

South shifted uncomfortably beside me, and I wondered if he would let me in this time. If he'd drop the SEAL persona he carried around for just a second—for just long enough to be real with me.

"If it makes you feel better, I promise not to laugh."

"Laugh if you want. I don't care. I mean, there's not much to tell." South ran a hand through his hair before his elbows landed on his knees. "I started giving skydiving lessons up at Newport Flyers once a week, just for the free jumps. And boom—day one, Camilla shows up."

A minute ticked by and his eyes drifted back to the hockey game. I waited for him to say more, but he seemed content with that little explanation. I snatched the remote and shut off the damn game. These playoffs happened ten years ago—we both knew who won.

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