28 • What Are We Waiting For?

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"What do you picture when you say we?" Camilla asked

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"What do you picture when you say we?" Camilla asked. "What does us look like in Virginia?"

"It would look just like this," I told her. "Right here. You and me."

We were sitting so close, side by side in the quiet of the night. One hand in her hair, the other holding on to hers. A breath of mountain air shook green trees and twisted campfire smoke.

"I want..." I started, my grip on her hand tightening. "I want to come home to this. To us. When I'm gone, I want to know you're sleeping in my bed, tangled in my sheets, waiting for me."

Camilla eased her hand out of mine and set it on my thigh. "Is that so?"

The fire popped and hissed, and I could feel prickles of sweat forming under my shirt. I didn't know if it was from nerves or anticipation. Maybe both.

"Yes." I gritted out, then, "Would you wait—for me?"

Camilla studied me, and again, I wished I could read her mind. She was harder to puzzle out than most people.

"I've spent my whole life saying goodbye to my dad. Waiting for him to come home." Camilla looked away, letting her gaze fall back to the crackling fire. "I know the feeling that comes with waiting for someone who can't wait to see you, too."

I thought about that for a minute. I supposed Camilla wasn't like other girls. She grew up moving and waiting and hoping. "So, are you saying you have special training?"

Her gaze snapped back to mine. Wide and open. "I'm saying I understand military life."

"That might be true, but missing your dad is different than missing a boyfriend. You only have one dad. You could have your pick of boyfriends."

Camilla opened her mouth to say something, but I barreled on. This was too important for excuses or platitudes.

"I need to know if you'd wait for me. If you want this—us—enough. Because if you do, then come with me."

My thumb traced a line on her cheek. I wanted to kiss her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not yet. I had to finish laying everything out, every vulnerable piece.

"Bring your giant ass suitcase and all your bags and come back to Virginia with me."

The words came out of me in a rush. It has been selfish of me to ask Camilla out for drinks after our skydiving trip, but this ask was undoubtedly more selfish. I was asking her to leave everything behind on a whim. For me.

But, everything about it felt right.

"South, this is crazy. We've known each other for like, no time at all."

"I know," I let out a nervous laugh, and so did she. "But, to be fair, I'm kinda crazy. Especially about you."

Camilla was sucking on her bottom lip, and I realized I was barely breathing. Waiting for whatever she was going to say. This was it.

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