Chapter 45

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The Order of the Phoenix met again that night and it had never been more divided. The meeting was tense, people arguing more than ever. Scowls being passed back and forth.

When it was finally over, Remus stood and said his goodbyes quickly. He shrugged on his tattered cloak, but just before he was out the door a cold hand wrapped itself around his wrist. He knew who it belonged to. That hand had been in his so many times over the years that Remus knew it's grooves and callouses as well as he knew his own. That's why he did not turn or speak or smile, but stood stock still. Waiting.

Quietly, Sirius Black asked "Why did you go to the graduation?"

He spoke with a sense of vulnerability. It was a question he had been avoiding, but it ate at him. It also came with a follow up question. Was his boyfriend the traitor the Order had heard whispers about? That was something he couldn't even bear to think.

Remus tried to shake his hand off, but Sirius only tightened his icy grip. "Why?"

"Can we talk about this at home?"

Sirius didn't answer, only apparated them into a small flat north of Diagon Alley.

He sat on a leather sofa, kicking off his shoes and watched Remus pick at a scab on his hand.

"Stop it" Sirius snapped out of habit, making Remus jump. "It'll scar"

Like it'll make any difference, Remus thought but he decided to leave his snark for himself.

"So. Are you going to answer my question or sit there and think of a lie to tell me? Because I need to know if you're the traitor"

Remus looked up, his eyes narrowing. "You distrust me that much?"

"What do you want me to think? You're never here. Always on top secret missions with the werewolves." Sirius sneered "And now you meet up and side with my brother? What are you doing Remus?"

Remus stood and stalked to his room, Sirius following.

"You can't ignore me" he shouted as Remus slammed the door.

"I bloody well can" Remus shouted back.

Sirius made a noise of frustration before he sagged against the door "this is making you seem guilty Moony. I didn't want you to be"

Remus hugged his knees to his chest, resting his head in between them. "But I'm not"

"Then explain to me. Why were you there? Why didn't you tell anyone you were going? What did they say to you?" Sirius sounded desperate, and he placed a hand on the door to push it open but found it locked.

There was silence for a while, no one daring to say anything else. Remus rocked back and forth. How could he explain that the Slytherins had planted a seed of doubt in his mind? He couldn't. He would seem ungrateful to Dumbledore or naive for believing them. He had to try though. He had to or Sirius wouldn't stay.

Slowly, the door opened and Sirius fell backwards onto Remus's feet. He pulled him up and pulled him into the bedroom. They sat opposite each other on Remus's bed cross legged.

"I went because it felt wrong to me that you and Prongs weren't and I wanted to offer them safety on our side. I also have written to Hermione a few times over the past year" Remus admitted.

"Why didn't you say?" Sirius asked, mindful of his temper.

"You two would've guilted me out of going and I wanted to. Regarding what they said..."

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