BROVE BLOVE UNTIL LOVE

[Epilogue] Chapter 55: What should I get?

Nathaniel's P.O.V.

"Where was your show of resistance?"

"Why didn't you fight back?"

"JUST FROZE, COULDN'T FIGHT, AND STAYED NUMB!"

"POWERLESS! STUPID!"

"I feel so stupid, that I just stayed there! I didn't kick or scrape or fight! Why didn't I do more? It's my fault for not stopping him"

"I can't stop playing the memories over and over in my head!"

I heard her sobbing in my sister's room and blaming herself so much that I couldn't take it anymore because my sister was leaving her like that...

Regretting, feeling guilty and being filled with self-reproach!

So, I barged in and told her:

"Stop!

Don't EVER blame yourself! Freezing is the most common instinct, but you didn't choose it...

You fighted at first but as you were still hypoglycemic, you lost your consciousness after your argument with him.

And this was all meant to be...

Nothing you could have done differently that would have prevent it!

You're just trying to find a sense of control again by asking yourself what could you have done to avoid that mistake again!

But you're wrong to create a false sense of control over of fear of what happened.

It's all because of Xander; you didn't do anything wrong.

He just wanted to see you in pain and feel in control; he's just a psychopath and a furious person that made a terrible decision to do this.

I am very sorry that it happened to you. You don't deserve it, and it's not your fault."

"It's just...."

"Nah! Don't ever think about it...

Of course I don't understand what you're going through, but I care about you a lot. If you want to talk to me about anything, I will be here listening to you and comforting you. I want to be someone you can trust and to be helpful to you, whenever you are okay to share!"

"Maybe after that but not now...

Because I can't trust myself to be able to hear what happened with my own ears and process it...

What kills me is how?!"

"How! What are you wondering about?

That's if you're willing to tell!"

"He said after what he did that I wasn't pure as I didn't bleed but how?

I have never been with any guy before!

There were a lot of rape attempts but they never turned to anything serious, I was saved each time after a long fight so, they were all just violence."

"Wait! Did you experience that fear before?!"

"Yeah! This is actually why I got married to Xander, because he was the one who knew and told me he would wait until I heal completely...

You know...

I truly started to heal...

But just like he was my analgesic drug, he was the reason for an unbearable pain!

He saved me from 2 attempts actually: one when a woman wanted to hurt me for a certain revenge thing and the other...

From your brother Charles."