BROVE BLOVE UNTIL LOVE

Chapter 13: The oppression in my life

Intellia

It's been 2 days since I talked to this guy on the blog, he had been texting me but I was so busy with my exams that I couldn't answer him. And I felt something weird, I wanted to talk to him, maybe I wanted to take a break from working long hours or I enjoyed talking to him as a friend with no interest in university projects, jobs from my family, social class. He didn't know me and I didn't know him too, that seemed more entertaining. I never read any of those messages but I am about to.

" Hi!
You know you don't have to explain yourself to me.
You seem too good, too innocent and loving to have these feelings for your dad after what he did to you, and nobody doesn't have any problems in his life. I didn't tell you the whole truth about my parents leaving me; however, you did and you were honest with me that I wanted too and I just felt safe telling you all what I know about myself.

When I was a kid, my mom used to take me to school then go to work, my dad would go to his earlier. One day I was so ill that they called mom to take me, when we returned home, my dad was cheating on my mom. Mom cried, asked for divorce, he was so angry that he drank a lot and beat my mom a lot in front of me that she was going to die.

They were upstairs, he lost balance as I was told by mom, fell and died in front of my eyes that was a shock in my childhood. People accused mom of pushing him that they took her to jail for 10 years. I was alone when I needed her the most. I spent my childhood, teenage alone, without her. While my classmates called me the kid that his mom killed his dad, I lived with my aunt that mistreated me and beat me......... A series of rough life and torture till I became famous and fled from all of that . " 1st message.

"Why aren't you answering? I need you."
"There's something that came up. I want your advice."
"Why do I lose people when I need them? Did I do something wrong? I can't understand."
" Maybe we shouldn't have talked about your family. I am sorry. Please you're so important to me than what you think"
Today 9 a.m.
" What do girls like about a boy? What do you like? "3rd message

His questions were hilarious. How doesn't he know what a girl wants?

"She wants what she felt a lack in so, some girls like men with money and fancy cars, or men with muscular body. Those two are the dumbest; feelings don't get bought with money, nor happiness with money or good-looking guy. Other girls like a guy with kind family, and kind personality, strong, independent, thoughtful, loveable, funny, with excellent ability to solve problems, responsible, and could obviously build a family and have kids . She wants the one and only for her that will make her happy "

I really hope I find my man the one that would really love me for who I am not how I look. I am not hideous or ugly, I am actually beautiful and I know it! The difference between me and the other girls is that I don't put on makeup – because, I have confidence in myself –, I don't wear tight jeans nor dentelle clothes, making myself worthless, priceless in front of a man, being his pornographic imaginary dream is totally humiliating to a girl, to a woman call it whatever you want a feminist or whatever but I don't understand what happened to women' rights or the way they evaluate themselves in presence of a man. How do they see being - so as they say- sexy, hot makes a man like them. Well, let me tell you if he does then you're someone for fun not someone serious to him; he'll play you, and he'll hurt you.

I once read in the book "Why men love bitches?"

"The women who have the men climbing the walls for them aren't always exceptional. Often, they are the ones who don't appear to care that much.
If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritize her dignity above all else."

If a guy gets whatever he wants from you, you won't be worth anything for him. He would be a total stupid guy if he chose to marry you, or maybe would totally be addicted to you that he would marry you just to verify or be sure you are his property or under his authority.

In Egypt, men are never blamed on what they do in the society; all blame is on the girl who was stupid enough to be tricked by that man saying he's in love with her. No man could ever feel safe to marry her because he'll be always asking himself whether she would cheat on him or not.

Even most of the society blame the wife in divorce even if her husband treated her like a monster: making her a slave always serving his family, all his brothers and their wives, while the others didn't participate or sometimes they would check on it for the last minutes ;and the food would end up being cooked with perfection by them, and all her hardworkingness would be ignored : this might be one of the repercussions of marriage between cousins not to mention how any problems between the couple would trouble the relationship between the family -brothers or sisters as parents of the couple – and that was my condition: my grandparents were brothers and the father of my dad insisted to get a lawyer to make my mom loose all her right with forcing her to fill a khula.

Could you imagine a brother insulting the other, calling his wife names... yeah! He called my grandma names just because she gave birth to my mom. Could you believe a brother neglecting all the life they shared, the best ones and bad ones that made up their life, leaving those children in shock alone with their dad and even when they tried to bring them back to their mom ; they became enemies.............. So....... No apartment...... No money.......... No school fees............... More lawsuits......... A devil in a lawyer who knows how to play with papers and documents to change all reality behind it............ Even the concierge of our block of flats who I used to play with his cats and joke with him, choose to take money to say that my dad was poor, has no property, even no job............. How are those people even living???.............. Also not to mention that my grandpa had tricked a lot of men before (...... Yeah tricked........ Can't say something else........ And won't)..... I just wish people could believe that life is ephemeral and so seductive that you could do bad stuff while believing you have a strong excuse, but that isn't right.