Skater Girl Meets The World // Michael Clifford.

5.

I knew I'd win the semi-finals. I was so sure, and we fucking did. Betty still doesn't believe that I'm not freaking out over this, but honestly... I knew it, so I wasn't SURPRISED. 

"Dude, you're acting like a dead fish, you won the fucking semi finals," Betty says.

I chuckled, "I knew I'd win, that's why I directly asked Michael to come for the finals,"

"Well," Betty pondered, "that's quite a lot of confidence you got there,"

I smile, "We practised hard, yeah?"

"I don't understand why the hell they have the finals just the very next day," Amy said, "Like, wtf?"

"I know right?" I agree, "That's so stupid, like we need SOME time to get ready for the finals," 

"Anyway, I don't think I can come," Amy says, "You know, Luke and I are going to decide the infrastructure of our shop,"

"But," I frown, "It's the finals! My big day!"

 "I know," Amy sighs, "I'll try my best,"

I smile, even though I felt bad about how she couldn't come. I didn't want to seem selfish so I didn't press on the subject more, but honestly, she could spare 2 hours and come for the match. 

"Okay," Betty sensed the awkward-ness, "Let's watch Cinderella?"

"What the fuck?" I looked at her in disbelief, "Fairy-tales, really?"

"I'm pregnant okay?" she says.

Amy and I roll my eyes, she's been making us do so many things and her reason is I'm pregnant. God, pregnant women are so annoying. They get everything. I never wanna get pregnant. I remember when I thought I was pregnant and how scared I was. That was so stupid, nobody gets pregnant in a week. Gosh.. but now that I do think about it, I feel, settling down is really cool. Especially when you really love a person and want to spend your whole life with him. I'm glad I moved in with Michael. I love sleeping and waking up next to him, it's so beautiful. I want to spend my whole life with him... I shift my focus back to Betty. She looked so happy, I was so happy for Ashton and her. They deserved all this, they've been together for so long, longer than I have been with Michael. She's only 5 months pregnant, and she says Ashton has been listening to all her demands, because she's pregnant. Gosh, this bitch. 

"Okay, so let's just watch The Hobbit?" Amy suggests.

"Let's do a Harry Potter marathon?" I say.

"Oh yes," Betty agrees and Amy nods, "It's been too long since we discussed Harry Potter,"

***

 He didn't come. I told him. I even reminded him. He said he'd come, but he didn't. We won the match, but I don't care. Nothing matters. Tommy couldn't come, Amy couldn't come, Calum didn't come, and now.. Michael as well. Betty and Ashton tried making me feel better, asking me to join them for dinner, but I was so fucking upset to do that. He just didn't come. He could have at least text'd me that he couldn't come. But he didn't do that. He didn't drop a text, or a call. He just didn't come. 

 I just returned home because there was nowhere else I thought I'd go, so I just came home. I felt like... I felt like a waste of space. Nobody cared about me, not even my own boyfriend. They were all too busy with their life, they were all too busy for me. I sat down on the couch, irritated. Nothing made me feel good. Amy said she wouldn't come, but she did say she'll try. Fuck her, fuck her not trying enough. I haven't even met Calum ever since they got back. I did text him to come, and he didn't. I don't know why I keep... I don't know why I expect people to care for me. This was ridiculous. 

 I removed my writing pad out, hoping that the publishers do call me, I have had enough of this unsuccessful life, I just can't deal with this anymore. I take a pen in my hand and start writing. Honestly, what else could I do? Just write. Nobody else cared, nobody else listened to me. Only my book. So I'll just write, write so that somehow I feel that somebody understands.. when in reality, nobody does.

"You have to learn how to dance alone,
How to stand in the corner without looking like you need company,
Make yourself smile when you meet your gaze in the mirror after three cups of coffee,
Don’t count how many friends you have, count the birds outside your window and marvel at their song, 
Notice that they don’t sound any quieter when their companion leaves.
Stop acting like it’s the end of the world because you’re at home on a Friday night,
There will always be a shortage of people, there will never be
Less of you.”

 I wake up by the disturbance caused by Michael trying to lift me up, what the fuck is wrong with him? He knows he can't lift me up, why does he even try? As if I already wasn't so mad at him.

"Fuck," he mutters when he sees that I'm awake, "I'm sorry... I was just taking you to the bed-"

"You know you can't lift me up," I say, "What the fuck is your problem? I was sleeping!"

"I know," he says, "I just.. I thought I'd take you to the bedroom since you were sleeping,"

"Don't even try," I snap, "I can take care of myself,"

"I didn't say you can't," he replies, "Listen, I'm really sorry I couldn't make it -"

"Just go," I mutter.

"Go where?" he looks at me with those eyes... ugh, it's so hard to be mad at him, but I'm not going to let him win so easily.

"Go to sleep, go to work.. go anywhere!" I say, "Just don't talk to me,"

"Emizie -"

"Fine, I'll go then, sleep on this fucking couch!" I throw the pillow at him and walk towards my bedroom.

He had really let me down.