dirty little secrets → rc

42: take my breath away

"I'm not leaving you Rafe" I voiced stepping forward reaching my hand out to cup his jaw and make him look at me, "I'm not going anywhere".

"Promise?" he asked softly staring down into my eyes, I saw the desperation in his eyes waiting for my answer.

"Promise" I assured him moving my hand and instead wrapping my arms around his stiff torso. 

It took him a second to respond before leaning his head down and moving his arms around my neck holding me closer. His head went to the crock of my neck as his breathing was heavy and I ran my hands up his back.

I felt the moonlight stream through the windows as I held him in my arms for as long as he needed it.

Rafe pulled away after a few minutes and I leaned up on my tippy toes and moved a strand of his hair away from his forehead before placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Can you please just promise me one thing?" I said softly keeping my hands around his torso but edging my face to look up at him.

"Anything," He said looking back down at me.

"Promise me you won't deal anymore, Rafe you're better than that". he didn't waste a second.

The second the words left my mouth he was quick to speak "I promise Lola, never again".

"Good" I smiled before turning my head and leaning my cheek against his stomach.

"What I have with you, I don't want with anyone else," I looked up at him in awe and I couldn't contain the smile on my face stretching from ear to ear. Rafe pulled his head down to be level with mine as I grabbed his t-shirt.

"Be mine" he whispered and somehow my smile got brighter which I didn't think was possible.

"I already am" I whispered back, "I'm yours Rafe" was the last thing I said before his lips crashed onto my own, the kiss started off as passionate and gentle like he was scared I'd break.

But as my hands found themselves around his neck he deepened the kiss much to my delight. 

"You're mine" he breathed out breaking apart our lips, he looked at me in disbelief as I nodded.

Rafe within seconds had taken me by surprise lifting me up in the air and spinning me around in circles making me giggle the entire time. He kept his hold on me strong as he walked us over to my bed carefully throwing me onto the baby blue bedsheets making me laugh again.

I loved this playful side of Rafe. It reminded me of when we were kids mucking around before we were forced to grow up sooner than we would have preferred.

Rafe slid in between my already spread-apart legs just like he did the previous night, he hovered over my body placing kisses on my neck. His fingers brushed over the multiple hickeys displayed on my neck that I hadn't bothered to cover up. It's not like I had to hide them from my parents. 

He kissed over the purple bruises he'd given me before leaning away smiling at me, "Showing everyone you're taken, good girl" he winked before leaning back down to kiss my lips.

I lifted my arms over my head as he easily slid off my crop top leaving me exposed, he placed kisses trailed down from my chest down to my lower abdomen. I stripped his blue striped polo off before he edged his head down to my ear, "Tell me what you want baby" he said lowly trailing his fingers down my stomach.

"I want you to make love to me and then fuck me" I whispered back making him lift an eyebrow up in surprise. We wasted no time doing just that.

I don't think I'll ever get used to the way Rafe touches me, I felt alive under his touch it was like he knew exactly which spots to kiss, which places to touch and how to take my breath away. 

I could never get used to the feeling because each time felt like the first time.

We'd fallen asleep in each other's embrace for the second night in a row and it felt right, everything felt right in the world when I had Rafe beside me.

As if nothing could ever hurt me again.

But I laid wide awake staring up to the ceiling, Rafe was fast asleep as my head was comfortably laid on his chest feeling it rise and fall with every soft breath he took. 

Our legs were intertwined as his arms were wrapped tightly against me.

Our naked bodies laid together like they were crafted to fit each other, it was strange how well they fit together which made reluctantly pulling away even harder. 

I took a deep breath and picked up my crop top and underwear from the ground before putting them on and beginning to get up.

On occasion I'd struggled to sleep, it was no secret. It led to many naps I would eventually take during the day after exhaustion overtook every sense in my body.

I grabbed what I needed from my bedside table and slowly opened the French doors to my balcony not wanting to wake the boy in my bed up. I gave him one final look seeing him slightly toss in his sleep but then turn over snuggling a pillow before walking through the door.

I glanced up at the moon finding comfort before looking towards something more addicting, whilst I knew it was a dangerous coping strategy it always seemed to relax me. So I placed a single cigarette between my lips before bringing the flame closer to it.

Hearing soft footsteps behind me I turned my head with the cigarette still between my lips, Rafe hazily walked towards me rubbing his eyes with his hair sticking up in all different directions, he looked adorably confused.

"Willow" he croaked out still half asleep but moving closer to me, "What's wrong baby," he said softly, his voice husky.

I grabbed the cigarette from my mouth and held it down out of sight, "Nothin at all, couldn't sleep" I explained shrugging my shoulders. He stopped walking when he was directly in front of me, his eyes moved down to my hand, and he reached out grabbed the cigarette and took a drag himself.

"This help?" he asked blowing smoke out into the air before handing it back to me.

"Sometimes it helps me relax," I said turning my back to him and staring out into the darkness, I could faintly see the horizon of the ocean when Rafe moved his body against mine bringing his arms to hang around my shoulders.

I angled my head up and to the side, so I could see him under the moonlight, I raised the stick up to him and he tore one arm away from my body to carefully grab it from in-between my fingers. 

I turned my head back around as I saw the smoke blow out. He took one final drag before I passed him my ashtray and he put it out before placing the tray back down on the small table beside us.

His arm immediately returned to my body and I showed him different stars up in the sky and he listened intently pointing up to the ones I mentioned.

Soon I grew tired again and dragged Rafe back inside but opted to keep the doors open so the breeze could flow into the room. For the second time that night, I fell asleep in his arms, where I knew I should be.

Where I knew I belonged.