dirty little secrets → rc

59

he lost his goddamn mind

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

The aeroplane's engine was roaring to life as we slowly emerged down the runway, it was never my favourite feeling so I leaned down into my purse and pulled out my silk cheetah print sleep mask before placing it on my head. 

My fingertips brushed over my medicine bottle filed with Xanax, I played with the bottle cap having a mental debate with myself whether I'd need it or not. On one hand I had Rafe's presence to calm me down but on the other hand sometimes my anxiety takes over and makes it hard to focus on anything else except the intrusive thoughts. 

"I think I might try get some sleep" I turned my head smiling at Rafe who was shifting in his seat trying to get in a comfortable position. Rafe gave me a small smile and leaned over closer towards my body. He raised his hands and gently pulled my sleep mask down over my eyes. 

"Get some sleep baby" he whispered before kissing my cheek and guiding my head to rest on his shoulder, "I know flying is scary but I'll be by your side the entire way" he muttered and I couldn't help but smile. 

Last summer we'd gotten drunk and found ourselves at the beach, I swear the vodka was truth serum because I'd managed to spill my deepest darkest fears. This included my fear for flying and reptiles, oh and also the fear that I'd end up like my parents in a loveless marriage or I'd end up an alcoholic like my mother.

Maybe I should have taken that Xanax because thinking about my parents was the last thing I wanted to do in this situation. I'd like to think maybe Rafe could feel my nerves or my unease because he slipped his hand into mine and squeezed giving me that reassurance I needed just as the plane took off. 

I squeezed my eyes closed hating the feeling and counted down in my head to when we'd be floating peacefully in the air. 

But that countdown never had an end.

Because just as quickly as we took off the plane abruptly stopped. Rafe's hold tightened signalling he was as concerned as I was. 

"What the hell" Rafe muttered under his breath as I sat up straighter and ripped the eye mask from my face throwing it down to the ground. This wasn't helping my anxiety. 

"What happened?" I asked turning my head around frantically trying to find some answers. But we were alone in what felt like a box. 

"I'm sure there's just something wrong with the plane or the controls or some shit, it'll be fine" Rafe nodded but the look on his face was less than convincing.

"No no....I don't like this....I have a bad feeling" I sighed unbuckling myself from my seat and jumping up, "I don't like this" I muttered again watching Rafe stand up from his seat and moving closer to me.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close, "I'll check what it is okay?" he said leaning his chin down on the top of my head.

"Thank you" I nodded against his chest, "I love you Rafe" I gushed suddenly overwhelmed with emotions.

"I love you angel, nothing bad will ever happen to you again, it's probably just a technical mistake with the plane" 

"Sarah!"

 We both jump hearing screams from outside. I looked up at Rafe in fear as he tried to soothe me by stroking my back, although his attempts really weren't working. 

Was something happening with Sarah? I needed answers and being trapped in this plane was giving me none.

"You trying to kill her? Trying to get us killed?!" Was yelled from outside and that made Rafe shuffle to the windows lined on the side of the plane.