dirty little secrets → rc

61

your fucking beloved boyfriend

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I didn't think he'd really do it. At that moment I knew exactly how much I meant to Rafe. 

He'd always said he'll kill for me, I guess he just proved it. 

The loud piercing bang rang out giving me a primal opportunity to escape out of John B's hold. 

The petrified screams of his girlfriend created a distraction causing John B to loosen his hold of the gun which I used to my advantage. 

The grunts and cries of the Sherrif as she fell to the ground made me run even faster. I sprinted away from John B like my life depended on it. I didn't stop running until I was embraced in Rafe's strong arms. 

I ignored the screaming coming from Ward and Sarah frantacing trying to help the situation. I ignored the shouts coming from John B as I wrapped my legs around Rafe's torso after he hoisted me in the air. 

I blocked out my surroundings as I cried onto Rafe's shoulder. From this moment on I knew I was safe by his side. When I'm with him I feel so safe, I feel like I'm home. He's the reason why I'm still breathing. 

Rafe's heart was beating even faster than mine which I thought was impossible. His breathing was rapid so I ran my hands up and down his back trying to soothe him, but I couldn't tell if my efforts were even helping in the slightest. 

Our reunion however was cut short by Ward's gasp, "Rafe. What did you do?" his voice was barely above a whisper. 

Rafe dropped me down carefully to the ground but kept his arms wrapped around my still trembling body, "I saved Willow" he said sternly, sure of himself and his decision until his smile soon faded into a slight frown and his lip lightly trembled. He tightened his hold on me as I too clung to his body. 

It hadn't clicked in my brain. All I knew was that I needed Rafe right now, I needed him by my side. 

I looked around at the small airstrip and found John B desperately trying to save Peterkin whilist she was taking her last breaths. 

Sarah had managed to run over to where I was huddled with her brother. I stepped out of Rafe's embrace and into Sarah's as we clung to each other for dear life. We sobbed and sobbed until the clicking of a gun was heard again. 

 "Rafe, no! Rafe!" Ward yelled as I pulled away from Sarah seeing Rafe yet again pointing a gun except this time it was aimed straight at John B who clutched the sherrif's radio in his palm. "Don't try it asshole" Rafe said calmly.

Ward held his hand out for John B to pass him the radio. "Rafe...John B, give me the radio"

"Give me the radio" Ward said this time a little less intimidating as he crouched down to be level with John B. "The damn radio" he muttered clawing into John B's hand and grabbing the radio from his grips.

"I should put a bullet through your fucking skull for what you did to Willow!!" Rafe roared louder than I'd ever heard anyone yell. It made me grab Sarah's hand who was sobbing beside me. 

"Rafe, I've got it. Calm down" Ward holds up the radio for Rafe to see who was still standing with the gun firmly aimed at the teenager. "Rafe put the gun down" Ward walked closer to Rafe placing his hands on his shoulders pushing him away from the group. 

John B slowly standing up and backing away was what tipped Rafe into a spiral again, "Where you goin'? Huh?" he yelled fighting out of Ward's grip. His screaming only caused Ward to try and wrestle the gun out of his son's grip. Once he was freed of his father Rafe sent bullets into the direction John B was sprinting in. 

Seeing Rafe with this look of sheer desperation on his face caused tears to pool in my eyes. Seeing him fight for that gun and eventually seeing him shoot bullets into the air felt like everything came crashing down on me like a tidal wave. This was my fault.  

Both Sarah and Ward were screaming and wrestling Rafe whilst I stood frozen on the ground. It felt like I was paralyzed and was watching the scene unfold from someone's else's perspective. There was nothing I could do, I felt completely and utterly useless. 

The only thing that pulled me out from that feeling was hearing soft whimpers that came from below me. 

I stood with tears streaming down my cheeks looking at the blood pooled on the concrete ground. This was my fault. I stupidly thought I could try and calm Rafe down, I should have stayed out of the drama. Becuse if I didn't insert myself in the situation then Peterkin wouldn't be dying on the runway. If I hadn't walked over to Sarah then I would have never been in a position where I felt my life was in danger. Rafe would have never been threatened with the thought of losing me. He wouldn't have done what he did. 

I was the reason someone wasn't walking away from the runway today, I was the reason Peterkin wasn't going home to her family tonight. I didn't know how I could hold that guilt for the rest of my life. 

I wanted to scream. The guilt made me feel like I was drowning and no one noticed. Like my head was stuck under a wave and I was gasping for breath but I couldn't be saved. 

Seeing Ward trying to talk Rafe down I ran over to Peterkin's body and dropped to the ground slapping my hand over my mouth muffling my sobs. "I'm sorry" I cried leaning down over her body, "I'm so sorry" my tears fell onto her chest mixing in with the blood oozing out of the wound. But Sherrif Peterkin had already taken her last breath and she'd never get to hear my apology. 

Sarah soon joined me on the ground crying at the scene in front of us. "Sarah, I need you to..." Ward walked over to us determinely but Sarah right away cut him off, "No! What is wrong with you!" she screamed with tears rolling down her cheeks. 

"Enough!" Ward snapped before stomping over to Rafe, "Take her home" he said calmly grabbing Rafe's jaw and making him look at him. "What?" Rafe mutters. "Take both of them home" Ward said firmly looking in both Sarah and I's direction.

Rafe nodded understanding his father's commands. Rafe walked straight over to me and crouched down on the ground facing me, "Come with me Wils" he whispered moving his hand to cheek gently but I quickly shook it off. I wasn't in the right headspace and needed time to clear my head. But seeing my action tears formed in his ocean blue eyes. "Please Lola...please let me take you home" his voice cracked looking down at the ground. I let out a soft sigh and slowly nodded my head even though he couldn't see me. 

When he lifted his head from the ground I was already standing up and reaching my hand out for him to accept. Despite all else I loved Rafe, I still hadn't wrapped my head around everything that had happened at the airstrip but going home seemed like the smartest idea at the moment. 

We walked side by side to the car not saying a word, I kept distance between us without even meaning to. When we'd reached the car I found Sarah already in the backseat after Ward had managed to pull her towards the car despite her kicking and screaming. 

I slid in the backseat besides Sarah with Rafe in the driver's seat. As we drove away from the airstrip his knuckles turned white from him clutching the steering wheel deep in his own thoughts. 

"I couldn't sit there and let it happen, okay?" he muttered not taking his eyes off the road. "He was gonna kill her I needed to do something" this time he did look up to the mirror in my direction and saw the blank look on my face.

"Do you realize what you've done?" Sarah croacked out staring at her brother in shock. 

"I saved Dad and I saved Willow" Rafe said and I could tell he was starting to freak out. His breathing became shallow and he was on the verge of a complete breakdown. "What was I supposed to do, okay? Sit there, hope for the best?" 

"Your fucking beloved boyfriend was about to kill my Willow" he spat angerily and that comment alone almost took my breath away, "I had to save her".

I didn't know how to feel. I wanted to scream, I wanted to burst into tears, I wanted to jump out of the car and yet I wanted to jump into Rafe's warm embrace and stay there forever....but all I could do was stare out the window in silence watching the surroundings blur past us.