"I was on a goddamn vacation in this God-forsaken place. I never meant to get engaged to you. I never meant any of this to happen. You. Me. Us. None of it!"
That was Saira Malik's life in summary. Once a happy-go-lucky girl fantasized about two thin...
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"Go, load the washer." Mumma ordered, pointing to the pile of clothes laying by the washroom door of my room. With a dramatic huff, I put my arms around the clothes, practically hug them. My tiny feet stumble out the room, towards the back door of the kitchen and into the narrow area of the laundry.
'I'll do your dirty laundry.' He had said in his velvety voice, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear. 'I'll do it.' Fahad said that day.
A groan erupts from my mouth causing me to throw the clothes away in frustration. I haven't even sat on the plane back home yet and I'm getting flashbacks already.
“Fuck me!” I curse, burrying my face in my hands, falling on to my knees.
“If I were a boy, I would.” I hear Rehana say from behind me. Not bothering to look over my shoulder, I continue to sulk.
“Let’s go to the terrace.” She says suddenly, gazing at the bright blue sky above before glancing down at me.
“Clothes?”
“I’ll send Maryam to do it.” Grabbing my hand, she hauls me up on my feet. Wordlessly, we walk around the house towards the stairs leading two stories up to the terrace. Baji pushes the metal door open, the view taking my breath away.
“Wow!”
“First time?”
“Yeah. Can’t believe I didn’t come up here earlier,” I say drinking in the view before me. City lights, buildings, and green mountains going about everywhere I see. Standing by the handrails, I shut my eyes letting the cool breeze touch and caress my face. My hair swayed along with it.
“Coffee,” Rehana baji offers, extending a big white mug. Wrapping my fingers around it, I mutter a thank you.
"It's about Fahad, isn't it?" I ask, turning to face her and wanting to get down to business.
"It's about you. We're here to take about what you want, Turkey." She stresses.
"I don't know what I want. Not anymore." I admit with a shake of my head while taking a sip of my coffee.
"Do you want to stay here or go back? It's as simple as answering this in a yes or no."
"It's both a yes and a no." When she looks at me with an unsure expression, I am forced to explain my words.
"I want Fahad. I want to stay with him here just as much as I want to go back and live my dream. I never want to leave his side just as badly I don't want to give up my career in New York. It's not simple yes or no. It's as complicated and fucked up but that." I heave a loud sigh, only feeling the heavy weight of my words now.
