Snowflake, the writer and the vet

Chapter 12 - Magnus

Alec looked at him, confused but loving. "Thank you for being honest. I'm sorry I asked, but sincerity is very important to me, and I'm a little confused. Even now I don't really understand. Did your life fall apart because of your books? What happened?"

"It's a long story, but the afternoon is still ahead of us. I will tell you everything, I have already decided. It's because I love you, and if because of what's happened, you decide you don't want to stay with me, or you find me disgusting, I completely understand. I want to make this clear from the beginning before we fall even more in love, because I'm still in the process of healing and if you broke up with me later it would kill me."

"Magnus, I never... I love you, whatever happened in the past doesn't change the way I feel," Alec said, taking Magnus' hand in his and stroking it gently.

"Let me tell you everything first and then we'll talk about it later, okay? This is important to me." Magnus said as he dropped his eyes.

"I started writing these books when I was 20. I was still at university at the time, studying literature. I've been aware of my own sexuality since I was quite young, because my family and friends were supportive, I took being bisexual as a natural thing. Unlike many people, as I experienced in high school and university. These books, as you know, are a kind of guide for people who have nowhere to turn with questions, are unsure of themselves or don't have a supportive family and friends behind them. I was 22 when the 3rd book was published. At that time I had a girlfriend of about a year, we lived here together. Her name was Camille. I wrote the books, as you can see, under a pen name. My publisher recommended it, because of the sensitive theme. Since I was still active in archery at the time, it was easy for me to decide on a pen name. And Matthew - don't laugh at me now - is the first name of my favorite actor. For the safety of my incognito, I made no formal public appearances, no public signings. However, the books have been successful. Although Camille and I were young, we had no financial problems. She didn't have to work while she was at university, because we lived very well on my earnings. The only thing I asked her to do in return was to keep my incognito. One day, after a fight, she went to a party with some of her old friends. They had a gang. They are racists and homophobic. Camille started bragging to them about how well we were living off the proceeds of my books, and revealed who I was. Then she came home, and as always, we made up the next day. To celebrate, we went out in the evening to a nearby restaurant not far from the park. The evening was good, afterwards we sat down on a bench in the park and started talking. Suddenly this gang came up to us. They told Camille to go away, they were dealing with me. Camille got up without saying a word and left me alone. She didn't call for help, she just left me and went home to my apartment. Five of them surrounded me and started verbally abusing me at first. Then I decided to just get up and leave. It's better not to tease people like that. But they wouldn't let me. They started pushing me. As you saw, I have some knowledge of martial arts, I fought, I tried to defend myself. But there were too many of them, and they were all at least twice my size. I was beaten badly, and several bones were broken. But I didn't give up, even then I tried to defend myself. The park was completely empty, it was after 1 am. My stubbornness made them even more fired up, and ...and..."

At this point Magnus started to cry quietly. Alec hugged him, stroked his hair, wiped Magnus' tears away with his hands. "Ssssss it's okay. You are safe here. You don't have to tell me if it's too hard." He gently began rocking Magnus. He looked up at him with his teary eyes and said.

"I want this Alexander. I want to tell you." He took a few deep breaths and continued.

"Then three of them held me down and ripped my shirt off. I stood there with my chest bare. Then one of them pulled out a knife. He started cutting me at random. He didn't stick the knife in me, he just cut my skin. Then one of them figured out how to mark me. They carved writing into my flesh with the knife. On my chest and on my back. So deep that you can see it to this day."