Who I Am

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Gemma:

⚠️ Contains Violence ⚠️

Our punishments are brutal. Dad said he was being lenient.

He lied.

He didn't go easy on us.

For a month we are our older brothers' bitches.

Literally.

I have to work in Renzo's office with him. Alonzo has to be with Matteo in his office. Nikolai has to have Maximus up his ass all day. Every day. Poor Valentino has to be with Gianni. Poor Valley. I give it not even three hours and he will murder Gianni. Our punishment continue with no electronics, no tv, no parties, no gatherings, we can't drive our cars. Well they can't drive them. I don't have a license or a car.

We work beside our brothers and come home.

For a whole month.

However, tonight we have to go to Lucian and Julian's fight tonight.

Dad apparently has given our brothers permission to take us to watch Lucian and Julian fight.

Only because dad will be there.

They don't know we're going to it.

Well I'm going to it.

I have ten hours before we have to head out.

So, I'm up in our main library to kill time; digging through the book. When I catch a glimpse of something that shouldn't be in here. I reach for this unknown black leather book. Pulling it out of it's hiding spot I realize it's.....

Fuck.

Lucian's journal.

Not again!

I swear we already went through this.

This one however, is a different one. A newer one.

He started a new journal?

Against my better judgment, I decide to read it anyways.

Why not?

First entry:

"How can you tell someone you love that you blame yourself? That's the question that haunts me to this day."

What?

I know I shouldn't read this. But after the first page I am hooked.

Like a fish.

Second entry:

"Gems thinks she's being quiet when she sneaks into our gym. I know she's watching from the dark shadows. I can't help that a smile is always placed on my lips; when I spot her crouching down in the dark."

He knew I was always there?

How? I was always quiet. I thought at least.

Third entry:

"Every time I see Gems I always look like I'm angry at her. In all seriousness.

I'm not.

I'm angry at myself.

Her being shot; even if it was in her vest.

That's my fault.

That will always haunt me.

I can't bring myself to tell her the truth. So, I'm a coward by letting her think I hate her. That I'm angry at her."

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