What if it was the opposite? Rewrite 2

What are you doing here?!

In space the Guardians of the Galaxy were traveling to investigate a distress call to the tune of 'Rubberband Man'.

"Sing it, Drax!" Quill said while dancing to the song.

Drax was snoring with his mouth open from his seat in front of him.

"Why are we doing this again?" Rocket said after yawning briefly.

"It's a distress signal, Rocket. Someone could be dying." Gamora said annoyed.

"I get that, but why are we doing it?"

"'Cause we're nice. And maybe whoever it is will give us a little cheddar cheese for our help." Quill said.

"Which isn't the point." Gamora said.

"Which isn't the point... I mean... If he doesn't pony up..." he said and pointed at her.

"We'll take his ship." Rocket said.

"B-b-b-bingo!"

"We are arriving." Mantis said adjusting a few things on the ship.

"All right, Guardians. Don't forget, this might be dangerous, so let's put on our mean faces." Quill said and looked back at Groot playing a video game. "Groot, put that thing away. Now. I don't wanna tell you again. Groot."

"I am Groot!" Groot said in a mocking tone.

"Whoa!

"Language!" Rocket said.

"Hey!" Gamora said.

"Wow." Drax said.

"You got some acorns on you, kid." Quill said.

"Ever since you got your little sap, you're a total d-hole. Keep it up, and I'm gonna smash that thing to pieces!" Rocket said.

Groot rolled his eyes. As Rocket finished what he was saying Thanos' carnage was revealed, revealing the distress signal to be the one from the Asgardian vessel at the beginning of the movie. The Guardians found the Asgardians floating dead in space from the destruction by Thanos.

"What happened?" Mantis asked.

"Looks like we're not getting paid." Rocket said then with a thump, Thor's body was plastered to the hull of the ship. "Wipers! Wipers! Get it off." he said waving his hands.

Thor's eye opened- cut to the Guardians tending to the still unconscious Thor inside the ship.

"How the hell is this dude still alive?" Quill asked.

"He is not a dude. You're a dude. This... This is a man. A handsome, muscular man." Drax said.

"I'm muscular."

"Who are you kidding, Quill? You're one sandwich away from fat." Rocket said.

"Yeah, right."

"It's true. You have gained a little weight..." Drax said and motioned to his chin and stomach.

"What? Gamora, do you think I'm..."

"He is anxious. Angry. He feels tremendous loss and guilt." Mantis said.

"It's like a pirate had a baby with an angel." Drax said.

"Wow. This is a real wake-up call for me. Okay. I'm gonna get a Bowflex. I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells." Quill said.

"You know you can't eat dumbbells, right?" Rocket said.

"It's like his muscles are made of Cotati metal fibers." Gamora said.

"Stop massaging his muscles. Wake him up." Quill said.

"Wake." Mantis said.

Then Thor awakened, frightening Mantis not recognizing them.