The Rejected Alpha

Butterfly Promises

Emeralds' tears fall, and I feel the sadness they represent. "Baby, please talk to me," I speak softly.

Emerald takes my hand and places it over her heart. Immediately I'm overcome with sadness and isolation. My eyes are closed. I am in our kindergarten class. Emerald is shy and to herself as she plays quietly with Diamond, and then the door opens and a young cub is crying loudly. Emerald looks up and smiles. I saw that I was the crying cub. I know the relief across my face from receiving a friendly smile. Emerald looks at me and waves for me to join her and Diamond.

Different visions are shared of how happy she was and how she felt we would always be best friends. That happy feeling changes as she walks through the halls of our junior high school, we are returning from summer break, and all the girls look different. I feel embarrassed as the girls point out that there is a difference and begin to exclude her from conversations and activities. One by one, she felt lonely as the boys she grew up with started to tease her or ignore her and pay attention to the other girls. My heart slows as I experience her staring into the mirror, convincing herself that everyone is right and Diamond and her mother are wrong. She criticizes her chubby cheeks and her ponytail that still sits on her head. She blames the way she dresses.

I experience her anxiety as she is surrounded by a group of girls led by Gisella as they taunt her for being weak, ugly, and only having friends because she is the Alpha's daughter. As they picked her apart, how her heart would race, walking down the halls of our high school freshman year, thinking it would be different. Emerald's ponytail now hung long at the back of her head, and she wore the skirt with our uniform instead of the pants, and still, the jokes continued about her tomboyish look.

When I thought the anxiety couldn't get any stronger, I felt her heart grow cold. There was a shift. Emerald walked the hallways with a shield of armor. I felt the emptiness and the anger as she decided to focus on just being a solid Alpha and taking over for her father.

I heard the comments about her tomboyish appearance. I see she dresses the way she does because she has training before school almost every day and immediately after school, and most days, she only has time to shower to prepare for school. She has convinced herself that she will not experience her first crush or childhood love.

Her mind opens more as I walk through a dream she has every night of a young man who makes her heart beat faster with longing. A dream she has had every night for months.

I hear her thoughts as people avoid her and her emotions as she wonders what happened and why everyone started treating her differently.

The loneliness and anxiety ease at night as she goes on a run and sees Selene, our Moon Goddess, who informs her that her dreams will come true, that the boy of her dreams is her true mate and that things will change, that she is like a butterfly waiting to emerge.

I am now looking at myself through her eyes, and she confronts me to tell me she is my mate. I hear myself tell her that I will never leave Gisella. A wave of rejection, sadness, fear, pain, and anger takes my breath away. I hear the promise she makes to protect herself at all cost, to reject love at all cost, to reject me at all cost.

I see that her nightly dream turns into a nightmare as she experiences my rejection over and over.

I see her years of training and her hard work to improve herself. It's me; I am the reason.

She wanted to make herself worthy of me. She wanted me to choose her and was disappointed when I didn't acknowledge the changes in her. I feel her happiness as she walks into our Senior Prom. She felt carefree, beautiful, and hopeful. My heart ceased as I experienced her watching Gisella and me dance.

Oh, Moon Goddess, she heard me. She heard me tell Gisella that I loved her and would never leave her.

I experienced the numbing void until the day of her welcome home party. Just when I thought my heart would break, I felt a warmth overtake her body as I stood behind her. I felt warmth followed by paralyzing fear.

Emerald is afraid.

My Sweet Baby is afraid to love me and trust me.

She is angry. No, she is hurt that I didn't believe her. She feels shattered  and unworthy of love from her destined mate, the one who was created to love her.

Me.

My heart speaks to her

"I'm sorry."

"I choose you."

"I want you."

"Please forgive me."

I placed Emerald's head in the crook of my neck and encouraged her to inhale deeply. She isn't ready to accept our bond, but there isn't any denying that my scent alone will calm her. As her sobs subside, I place her hand over my heart.

"Princess, I can tell you how I feel for the rest of our life, and you may never believe me, so see for yourself."