Chapter Thirty Nine - Endeavour for Forgiveness

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Chapter Song - Afterglow by Taylor Swift

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Chapter Song - Afterglow by Taylor Swift

Rough fingers graze the palm of my dangling hand. I've been awake for a few minutes now, awoken by Danny who's been playing with my fingers, assuming I'm asleep. 

I want to move, but the feeling is warm and relaxing. I almost feel guilty for indulging in a man i've yet to forgive, all because my body loathes the space away from him. 

His fingers play with the tips of mine, as they graze up and down my palm and along the sides of my hand. Soft and gentle, so he doesn't wake me, or thinks he won't wake me. 

I should move, turn over and pretend to re-wake up again, but I can't help but settle in the calm peace of the morning. 

Though the peace and warmth of the slow morning is short lived, when the symptoms of pregnancy hit me like a truck. Vile crawls up my throat and I'm quick to bolt out of bed and straight into the bathroom to hurl my guts out. 

I try to swish my hair out of my face, though it's hard when it feels like a demon is exiting your system. Though Danny's warm presence comes up behind me and scoops my hair, another hand lightly rubbing my back. 

Slumping back against the vanity, Danny quickly fills up a glass of water and passes it to me. I gratefully take it, washing my mouth out before gulping half of it down. 

"Thanks," I mutter, taking a few deep breaths to settle my uneasy stomach. 

"Do you feel any better?" he asks. 

I shrug. "The same really, but I don't think that'll change for a while," I half joke, but churn at the thought of this being my new mornings. 

"It'll get better," he reassures and I just nod. "Did you feel like breakfast?" he questions. 

I wince at the thought of food. "Maybe later," I mumble. "I think I'll just get some more sleep," I say, holding onto the vanity and trying to push myself up. 

Which isn't an easy task, as my legs wobble as I try to stand. "Here, let me help," Danny says and I want to push him away, but I'd rather not fall and hit my head. 

Wrapping a hand around my waist, his places my arm around his shoulders. I steady my breathing as my body tingles where is fingers tickle my skin, a feeling I should despise, but couldn't want anymore than I could hate him. 

Helping me back into bed, he pulls the covers back over me and I snuggle back into the comfort of my pillow. "I need to book an appointment," I mutter, sitting back up. 

He pushes me back down gently. "I'll do that, you rest," he tells me and I only nod, not having the energy to argue against him. 

"Is mummy okay?" a small voice echos from the doorway. 

Hallie and Bridie stand in the doorway, worry creasing their faces. "Yes, sweetie. She's just not feeling very well, but she'll be okay," Danny reassures Bridie. 

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