Just the typical sad marvel thing /Peter

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Tony's pov:
I'm down sipping my morning coffee, thinking, how could I make Peter trust me enough for him to talk? He trusts Bucky. Maybe if we talk with him together. To this thought, Bucky comes down from his room. He pours himself an unusual glass of whiskey. He's stressed. He finishes it with one gulp and then sits next to me. I analyze his face and expressions, trying to figure out what he feels but he hides his feeling so well. "Morning," I say before sipping another from my coffee. "Morning Tony," he says with an emotionless tone. After a moment of silence, I ask him, "When will you talk to him?" "As soon as I see that he's ready for it. But definitely today," he replies. I nod while lifting the mug to my mouth but I realize there's nothing in it. "Could I go with you? I mean I know pretty much about this whole situation so." "You don't know anything, but even if you did, I don't know if he would trust you enough." "Let me try at least," I say while standing up to put away my dirty cup. "Okay, I guess," he sighs.

[time skip - a couple of hours later]

Bucky's pov:
Peter woke up now. He's having breakfast, almost finished, at the moment. He excuses himself to the bathroom but before he can go I tell him that I want to talk so he can prepare himself for it. I see the acceptance on his face, he knew this was coming. A few minutes later he comes back down. "Let's find a better place. There are too many people here." He nods and follows me. We go into Tony's room where Tony is in there. "Why don't we... go to your room instead?" I can see that he's getting uncomfortable with the situation but I tell him that Tony wanted to be here and see what's going on. He comes inside and sits down. He's already avoiding eye contact with everyone. I feel like he won't tell us anything until it's just the two of us. "Look kiddo, I'm not mad, I just want to know what's going on. Please trust me," Tony says. He still avoids eye contact, he's looking everywhere except at us. "Pete, look at me. Please." His eyes tremble up at mine but as soon as we make eye contact he looks away. "You know I'm not going to hurt you." He looks at me and then away again but allows to have us eye contact after a few seconds. I can see the same sadness and grief in his eyes. "Can you tell me what happened yesterday?" I ask. His eyes fill with tears and it rolls down his cheek. "It's okay, take your time," Tony tells him. He wipes his tears and blows air out shakily. He's not looking at me and he doesn't say anything either.

"Then let me ask. Why did I find that box in your bag?" Peter looks up at me, surprised. "What box?" Tony asks confused. "You know what I'm talking about, Peter." "I don't?! What are you talking about?" Tony keeps asking. I ignore Tony and just focus on Peter, I need him to open up. "Did you steal it?" "I'm sorry..." he whispers and then he starts crying silently. His body just shakes like he's crying but there's no sound. "Bucky what are you talking about? What box?" he asks concerned. "Just wait Tony," I say. I feel like he doesn't need to know now. "Kid, can you show me... us?" I try. Peter keeps shaking his head no. "N-not until... until Mr. Stark is here," he says between tears. "I know I promised Peter but... he knows. I'm sorry. I know what I said, but he knows a little." He looks me in the eyes, while tears stream down his face. "Y-you pro-promised. You promised me!" he yells at me. I close my eyes and say. "I know, Pete but-" "YOU PROMISED!" he cuts me off. "You promised you won't tell anyone but I especially asked you not to tell Mr. Stark!!" "Listen to me, I needed someone too, I needed to tell it to someone! And I- I still have a lot to myself that no one knows about, I couldn't deal with it. I couldn't do... that." I say and I feel myself tearing and choking up. Tony doesn't even try to say anything, he just sits there. Peter doesn't say anything either, just looks at me surprised, he has never really seen me cry, I know. Peter's upset and he tries to go away, to his room but Tony makes him stay. I couldn't say a word there so he had to tell him to stay. After everyone calmed down a little, Peter asks, "You couldn't do that? What couldn't you do?" I shake my head no. "No kid, I can't tell you that." "You mean doing something with that lighter in your bathroom cupboard? What did you do with that? It has blood on it!" Peter says concerned. I look to my side to look at Tony. I see him getting upset but trying to hide it. "I can't tell you, Peter." "Are you hurting yourself Bucky?" he asks sadly. I sigh and say, "I didn't do anything with that. It's not mine." This surprises him more than anything before. I know what he thinks. There's someone else who self-harms in the team. He doesn't ask more about this, I think he feels like this is a touchy topic. And it really is now.

We sit in silence for a little while and then I try again. I still want to know how bad his arm is, and I also want to know what happened yesterday. "So... I need to see how bad is it, kid." He looks at me and then at Tony. "Just please look at me the same after you've seen this Mr. Stark." He looks at me, obviously waiting for something, but I don't get it. Then when he sees that I don't know what he wants, he holds out his right hand. Now I know. He wanted me to pull up his sleeves, of course. He doesn't like to do it. I let him rest his arm in my hand. I slowly pull up his sleeve. Because I'm a little scared but also I know if I pull it up fast, then I can hurt him or open up his scars. I find his arms bandaged. I start taking the bandage off, unwrapping his arm. "You're doing good, kiddo," I say, trying to calm him. After a few layers, I find it stained. I look at Tony, I check if he's still doing okay. He looks terrified and worried. Hold on Tony, please don't make this harder for him. I think as I continue removing the bandage. I'm at the last layers, pulling the fabric really carefully, knowing this hurts for Peter. He doesn't even look at us or his arm. His eyes are closed and he turns his head away from everything that's happening there. It's the very last layer now, "I'm sorry if this will hurt Pete. I'll be careful okay?" He just hums a crying 'mhm' as a response. "Take a deep breath, both of you," I say as I pull it out of Peters's scars. I take a breath with them, I believe it helps everyone here, to release some tension. I put down the bloody bandage and take a closer look at Peter's arm. I opened some cuts with the bandage but I was really trying. "I'm sorry Peter, I tried to be gentle but the bandage got stuck in some places." I carefully pat his bleeding spots with a napkin. I check on Tony again, he's really done, he can't hold it for much more. I know this is triggering but I have to make sure Peter doesn't lose his trust in him. He can't run out of here or start crying. Peter would blame himself. I mouth him, 'Hold on, Tony' he takes a deep breath, swallows, and then exhales shakily. I retake a closer look, I see little red marks from his nails on his arm and scratches. I realize I'm starting to lose it too, so I blink my tears away and then ask, "Did- What did you use for this? I took your box when I found it." He can't say anything, he's too choked up, I see it on him. "You used your hands, your nails? Right?" Peter takes a shaky breath and as he exhales he whispers "Yea." I see Tony panicking and getting out of control because he can't hide it that well now. "Tony, could you wet this napkin for me?" I ask, getting him the opportunity to let some emotions out in the bathroom. While he's away I try talking with Peter. "Is it really bad or can we talk about yesterday here and now? Can Tony stay?" He nods yes, we can continue, but I know I'm on thin ice now, it's way beyond what he can bear with. Tony comes back with the wetted napkin, sitting back down. I gently press the cold fabric to his arm, trying to clean it. "Are you comfortable talking about yesterday while I'm cleaning these?" Peter shakes his head, I get it, he didn't even say a word. He needs some time to get ready.