Just the typical sad marvel thing /Peter

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[time skip - in the evening]

Peter's pov:
Bucky knocks on my door, just before I wanted to go to sleep. "Can I come in kid?" he asks from the other side of the door, not opening it until I tell him he can. I'm thankful that he has respect for my privacy and that he's not like Matthew. "Yeah, sure," I open the door for him. "I just wanted to check on you,... you know after yesterday." "I didn't do anything. I promise," I say. "I trust you but I want to see how your arm have been healing. Could you maybe..." I sigh. Why do we always do this? A second thought crosses my mind. Should I trust him? Should I show him? I pause for a quick moment but since it's nothing that bad, I decide to roll up my sleeves and show him my arms. He smiles as he says "I'm incredibly proud of you kid. You're doing great!" "Thanks," I smile back at him. I haven't been clean for even a day for a long time now. And even though it's just a day, I feel a little proud after all. "Good job, keep going. And of course, if anything bad comes and you feel like talking to someone or doing something bad then I'm here. You can always talk to me okay?" I just nod while smiling. "Also I don't know if Tony told you this but, the amount of free days you can get from the school is over today, so unfortunately you have to go back. I promise if we could we wouldn't have you go back there." "Oh... okay I guess," I say, unsure about how to respond. "You can do it, kid." He says while patting me on my back. "I'll try my best." He nods, then he goes out of my room, after saying good night. Then I realize that I didn't even talk to him before if anything happened but now I don't think I even trust him that much. So I'll just get over my things on my own. Knowing I have school tomorrow and it'll be my first day in a while, I become nervous. What will my classmates think? God, I'm sure Flash will bully me crazy. He probably misses hurting me. I try to push away my thoughts cause I know I'll have to rest for tomorrow so I just try and go to sleep.

I wake up to my alarm at 6:30. My head is spinning, I'm not sure why, but I feel very bad. I eventually get out of bed and start dressing up for school. I'm constantly thinking about variations of what could happen there. It makes me so anxious and nauseous. I feel a knot in my throat and my stomach hurts, I feel like I'm gonna throw up. And before I go down, I do so. I go down then and meet Nat and Mr. Stark. "Ready for school kiddo?" I nod. "Eat first, and also I packed some snacks for you for school." He hands me two lunch boxes. "I'm not really hungry Mr. Stark." "I know... you never really are. But please, you have to." "I don't want to... I'm just nervous and I already feel like throwing up again." "Again?" Nat asks. Shit... I said too much. "I-I mean..." I stutter, not knowing what to say now. "You threw up?!" Mr. Stark asks. I stay silent. "Look, I know you're nervous, but everything is gonna be okay in school. And in case anything happens, you can call me or Happy and we'll pick you up immediately." "I'm sorry," I say, looking at the floor. "There's nothing to be sorry about, it's okay. And now let me make a toast or something for you that doesn't upset your stomach. But you have to eat Peter, especially now." I can't back out of this one, I'll throw up in school then. I eat it and then Happy takes me to school.

We arrive at the school. I take a big, deep breath before stepping out of the car. Hundreds of children, hurrying to class, not even caring about anything, yet I still feel like everyone's watching me. I take my direction to my locker, I'm tightly gripping the books in my hands in my anxiousness. I'm standing next to my locker, packing my stuff when a familiar voice hits my ears. Flash. "PENIS PARKER!" I close my eyes and sigh, trying to ignore him. "Good to see you mate! I thought you killed yourself haha!" I just keep rattling in my locker, not even looking at him, even though he's standing right next to me. "But seriously what happened? Did your daddy hit you too hard again? Or he hit your stupid aunt and you fought him?" I'm getting angrier and angrier now, he can't talk about May like that. "Did you take a vow of silence as well or what?" He slams me against the lockers. "Don't ignore me, Parker. What happened to your useless life?" "I swear if you say anything more..." I hiss through my teeth. "Then what?" He looks me in the eyes. I don't know what will I do but he'll regret saying such things. "Hmm? What will happen if I say anything more about that slut May, huh? Did she die after your dumb stepdad hit her?" I try to stay tough and not start crying when he talks about May dying. I'm so angry at him and I want to beat the shit out of him for talking like this but I know I would get in trouble and this is my first day so I don't do anything, just say, "Fuck you Flash." He just scoffs and lets me go.

I'm having a math class. We got an assignment to do and I counted and I think I know the answer. I feel as my heart starts pounding and my hands sweat. I never say anything out loud in class. My breathing quickens as well and then I raise my hand into the air. "Yes, Peter?" the teacher asks. "Is it 145?" I say nervously. "I'm afraid you counted something wrong, Peter." the teacher says while looking down at her notes. I'm wrong. I fucked up. Why the hell did I even do this? "Haha loserrr!" Flash shouts. I feel all the eyes on me. Why did I think I could do it? I'm never doing this again. Everyone is laughing at me and judging me. I'm stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I feel my heart starting to beat even faster now and the knot in my throat. I'm literally on the edge of tears. I keep overthinking and I just look at my paper til the bell rings. I go out of the classroom as fast as I can and rush into the bathroom. I let the tears flow that I held back during class. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. I start shaking. "Okay, just calm down, take deep breaths," I tell myself. It feels like it's never gonna end, when I could get a little calmer, my brain thinks of something way worse and it makes me panic and cry even more. I just want to cut now and stop this. The bell rings and I'm still crying on the bathroom floor, scratching my arm and cuts. Eventually, I make it bleed pretty bad. Seeing the blood makes me calmer and I can finally stand up and go to class. My history teacher yells at me, but I just sit at the back of the classroom and hope to get through the day.