╔══•XLII•══╗

403 7 3
                                    

Peter's pov:
I'm running. I don't even know where but I just need to get away from there. Once I feel like my lungs are going to explode, I stop and I find myself in front of the building I used to sit on a lot. I decide to go to the top. Loud, very bad thoughts cross my mind. Matthew was right. It's my fault. I'm a murderer. I killed May. I should be dead. I'm useless and just do trouble. Flash was right too. I should die. I don't have a reason to be here. I hurt Mr. Stark. I made him self-harm. I made him cry and feel bad. And I actually got something from Matthew. I really do. I hurt Bucky too. I just hurt everyone. And I hate it. I hate myself. I hate being here. I want to die. I want to do it. The opportunity is here. Do it!

I reach to the bottom of my bag and dig my hidden blades out. I pull my sleeves up. I rip the white bandage off with some struggle. It makes my cuts bleed and it rips some of the stitches out. It hurts like hell already but without thinking I push the tiny, shiny blade into my arm. I push it down as hard as I can. It hurts so much and it burns. I cut along the wound that has stitches in it. I make sure it bleeds a lot. I actually want to cut deeper into that vein. I start breathing faster as more and more blood comes out. I convince myself to cut over it again and bear with the pain, to make sure I slice through that vein. I stare at the blood pouring out of my arm. I just realize what I'm doing. It's at least a 10 stories building, if I jump I definitely will die. I'm tearing up. I pull my phone out of my pocket and quickly search for the group chat that has the whole team in it. They deserve to know it's not their fault. At least, that's all I could type and send on my phone. I'm too panicked and obviously, my arm isn't working the best when I'm bleeding out. So I type: 'im sorry it's not your fault ily' and I click send. I put down the phone next to me. Then I go closer to the edge, I sit down so my legs just hang in the air. It's far, really far. And I'm scared but I'm also ready to do it. My phone lightens up. Bucky's calling me. I decline it. Then again but this time it's Mr. Stark. I look at it but I don't pick it up. I just leave it there to ring silently.

Bucky's pov:
A message appears on my phone screen. I open it. It's in the team's group chat. Peter wrote it. 'im sorry it's not your fault ily' I read it over again. What is he doing? This sounds really bad. Why did he text in the group chat? I'm calling Peter right now. I'm panicking. He declines it. I know he's angry at me. What I said was very wrong and it was definitely the worst thing to say in that situation. Why did I do that? I'm so stupid. I go down to the living room where the others already started to gather after seeing that message. I look at Tony, terrified. He looks back at me while lifting the phone to his ear. He's calling Peter. A few seconds later he sadly puts the phone down. I go there to him. "Did he decline?" I ask, assuming he didn't make exceptions for me. But he did. "He didn't pick up," Tony says. He's mad at me. He purposely declined my call. "Tony. Can you tell a little, not too much to the others about this so they'd understand?" He nods. "I'll go now, I think I might know where he is." I quickly grab bandages and stitches with myself and go as fast as I can. I'm going to the building where I found him once. I just have a feeling he's there. I get on my motorcycle and drive as fast as I can. I even probably go over the speed limit but I just have to get there. I can't be late.

I get to the building. I go inside and go up with the lift. I'm really scared about what I will see up there. Will he even be there? If not, where else could he go? My heart is pounding when I reach the top. I get out of the lift and go up to the roof. As I look around I see him. He's sitting on the very edge. I go closer carefully. I hear him cry loudly. "Kid. What are you doing there?" I ask him, scared. He's shaking and scared but he stands up as he sees me. He doesn't move away from the edge, making it obvious that I should keep my distance. He's looking down. "Don't you dare come closer," he says sniffling, with a shaky voice. Just then I realize that blood is literally dripping from his arm. He cut into that vein again. "Peter. Please. You're going to bleed out if we continue like this. Please, get back here." I try to convince him but obviously, it's not enough. He's not saying anything. "Good... At least if I don't jump I'll die anyway," he says like he's laughing but I know that's a cry again. Not to mention that he starts crying right after. I sigh. I have no idea how to get him back from there. He's mad at me, he's determined to do what he planned. I question if it's even possible to convince him. "Please, kid. We need you." "No! I just make everything worse and I hurt everyone. I'm a murderer, I killed May. You all hurt yourselves because of me. I'm such a bad person. I should just disappear," he says between tears. It shocks me how he thinks. He's so wrong. "Nothing from this is true. And I know you won't believe me but you're a really good person and you matter." He stays silent. I don't know if he just doesn't want to argue or he believes me somewhat. "I'm sorry Bucky," he says shakily and quietly. He steps even closer to the edge and he's just looking down. I try to tell him don't do this but he looks like he doesn't even hear me. "Peter, Peter. Please, Pete," I'm panicking.

Just the typical sad marvel thing /PeterWhere stories live. Discover now