and we fell

Chapter 41

SOFIA

It pains me to see Alec like this. I can see how hurt he is. What happened in that house must have been hard for him. The way he's tensed right now, his fingers curled around the wheel with such a strength I wonder how it hasn't fallen off until now... He's suffering. And it is breaking my heart.

"You don't have to answer, if you don't want to." I whisper to him after a while. He looks at me surprised and searches for my eyes. As our eyes lock and I see that grey shade of his stare, I feel home.

Alec stares at me for a while. He doesn't say anything, only breathes heavier. And swallows the nothing in his throat.

"No", he lets out after some time. I'm too surprised by his answer to be able to say something. So he continues: "You deserve an explanation."

"I don't", I whisper, reaching for one of his hands. He notices and continues driving just with one hand, the other having the fingers curled with mine. "I don't need an explanation, Alec. When you'll be ready to tell me, you can. But I will never force you. It's your story to tell."

Alec looks at me thankfully and bends down to kiss my forehead.

"How could I have ever deserved you?" he whispers as a question, more to himself. I still heard it so I answer: "By being the amazing guy you are."

He smiles, yet his smile isn't whole. Is partly broken. Like his voice as he says: "My Grandfather never liked the way my parents raised me and Callum. He said they might end up transforming us in monsters. Truth is, they somehow did."

He lets out a cold dry laugh, colder than I have ever heard from him. A tear rolls down my face.

"You're not a monster, Alec", I whisper to him.

He doesn't believe me. Only continues: "After what happened on my sixteenth birthday, he searched for a way to get me out of that house. That's when he built the bungalow in the forest. It was meant to be for me and other three guys with similar problems. Me, Adam, James and Michael."

The four friends. That explains the familiar way they talked to each other. As if they were family. I guess they somehow are. I don't know what they've been through, and I respect them for finding a way to put the past aside and become who they are now. Legends.

"My grandfather offered us the protection we lacked. He enrolled us to a fancy high school, taught us how to dress according to the reputation we had and showed us how to act in society. We all owe a lot to that man."

His voice breaks at the end, and I am not sure he'll continue. Yet he does.

"My Grandfather died in that house. Two years ago. He was sick for over some time. We all knew he didn't have much left, yet deep down, we all hoped that his condition was just a nightmare. A nightmare we'll soon wake up from. Yet we didn't. And he never woke up again."

I lift his hand to my lips and give him a soft kiss on the knuckles. "I am so sorry, Alec."

He looks at me thankfully, his eyes red. He doesn't cry however. Only talks colder.

"I was with Adam that day. Michael and James moved out of the house after high school. Michael went to continue his music in LA and James opened his fashion house in San Francisco. Adam stayed here. He said that given my personality, I would probably die in three months if being left alone. I'll never admit it to him, yet he was right."

He laughs another cold laugh and goes back to the story.

"We were in the room with him. That day. Me and Adam. We had to watch him close his eyes. I could never forget that moment. The moment the machines just stopped working. And that sound. I wish I will never have to hear that sound again."

I feel so sorry for him. I want to tell him that he'll never have to do that again. That he's safe now. That I will always be there for him. I want him to know he's loved. And that he's always going to be loved.

"The worst part is, that I know my Grandfather wouldn't be proud of me now. I turned in everything he wanted to keep me away from. I turned into one of them." he adds sad.

"You didn't do that, Alec." I reply quick, since what he said is and will never be true. He could never turn into one of them. He could never be like that.

"I don't think so, Foxy...", he whispers, his voice broken. I can't have it anymore. I can't see how sad he is and how miserable he feels. His pain reaches me on thousand different levels. I can't stop the urge to cry.

"Stop the car." I tell him. He doesn't understand what I am up to, so I repeat: "Stop the car."

He nods and pulls over. As the car stopped and Alec's eyes are on me rather than the road, I break it.

"You are not a monster, Alec. And you are never going to be one of them. I need you to believe me. You could never be one of them."

My voice shatters, so he gives me a kiss on the forehead. It gives me the power to continue: "You showed me that I'm not broken, Alec. You didn't see me just as the pinky perfect princess or a spoiled brat, but you saw me. The real me. You helped me realize I am more than they want me to be. A monster would never do that, Alec. A good person does."

Alec seems to be like frozen. He can't move anymore. Until he leans over to me and kisses my lips with so much desire, it makes me feel special. He wants me. And I want him.

"You were never broken, Foxy. Not ever. You are the strongest person I know. And you did it all on your own. All I did was look up at the sky while you made it shine."

How could anyone ever call this guy a bad guy? I still don't get it. Based on the stuff he says, he doesn't just kick the Bad Guy label aside, but he raises the standards for anyone else. He deserves an award.

"And you call yourself a bad person..." I mumble, more to myself, but he heard it. And he leans in closer to me, giving me another kiss. I wrap my hands around his neck and hold on to him like my lifeline.

"Maybe not around you, sweetheart. But you pushed all my walls aside. You messed up with my beliefs. I don't care about how I act around other people, but with you, I want to give you everything you deserve. And you deserve the world, Foxy."

Forget butterflies, now I am feeling the whole zoo.

I put a bit of distance between us, not much, just enough to be able to look him in the face.

"Can you promise me one thing, Alec?" I ask him whispering. He nods and adds:

"Anything, sweetheart."

I take a deep breath before I speak my request.

"Can you promise me you'll always be with me? And not anyone else, but you. The real you. This beautiful perfectly imperfect you."

He swallows the nothing in his throat and freezes. I can see how tensed he is. I am not sure he'll say something, but then he does: "I will. You'll always be the one for me, Foxy. Now, in ten years and forever."

I smile at him thankfully.

Deep down I know he's right for me too.

This guy is mine. Now, in ten years and forever.

"Mine", I whisper to him.