and we fell

Chapter 52

ALEC

Three days later

I open my eyes.

It takes a while before I am able to recognize the shapes and forms around me. As I finally get used to the light, I understand where I am. In a hospital. Memories of how I got here flash through my head. The talk with Rachel, making me choose between my love and the company. The way I denied her offer to be able to be with Foxy. The letter I wrote her in the car in the parking lot of my parents' house, just in case something might happen. Rachel's personal driver crashing a car in mine.

Darkness.

I try to stand up yet my hands are connected to the machines beeping next to me. I look around the room to see if someone is there. A nurse. Who looks at me with her eyes so big, as if it were a wonder I woke up again.

"Mr. Dunn", she says as a greeting. "How are you feeling?"

I remember the letter I wrote to Foxy. The one she probably got. In which I tell her about how I would want us to break up. It obviously isn't true. I love that girl more than I have ever loved before. Her smile is the one thing I want to see every day for the rest of my life. Her eyes are the masterpiece I'll pay any price to get to wake up to. And her soul...Her soul is the best of all.

Yet I had to let her go.

Because us being together puts her in danger. Her relationship with me is dangerous. And the new scar on my cheek, the one that I only now acknowledged in the mirror in front of me, is proof.

Foxy is gone.

And I am to blame.

"Dead." I answer cold to the nurse. She frightens and makes a quick attempt to flee.

"You have someone waiting for you outside, Mr. Dunn. I'll go bring him inside."

For one second I hoped she was talking about Foxy. All hope died the moment she said him.

As the nurse is out of the door, I look around again and find a piece of paper on my nightstand, with an oddly familiar handwriting.

Foxy's.

I take the letter in my hands and begin reading it.

"I would be lying if I would say your words didn't hurt. I thought it was you and me against the world. It seems that I was wrong.

I guess you are right. Maybe we should stop being together. And not just because of the danger. I could never be the girlfriend you deserve. I can't marry you, I could never introduce myself using your name...Even if we would ever have a child...That child would be the heir or heiress to the throne of Cordelia. I am and will never be able to offer you a normal life. A normal couple.

All I can do is watch you go away.

I really hope you find happiness too, Alec.

Goodbye.

With a broken heart, Sofia "

I can't help but notice several things in her letter. First of all, she didn't sign herself as Foxy. She used her real name, Sofia. And that broke my heart to pieces. Because screw the world, to me, she is and will always be Foxy.

Secondly, she didn't mention once in her whole letter the word love. Not once. Forget the phrase I love you.

You broke her heart, Alec. What did you expect her to do?

Thirdly, I can't stop but imagining the pain she must feel about the fact her child will become the next ruler of Cordelia. Foxy never wanted that, neither for her. Knowing that all of a sudden, her child will have to experience that fate...It must kill her inside.

Which kills me inside.

I feel the urge to hunt Karl down, who must be behind it all and make him pay for breaking Foxy. Make him feel the pain she's going through. Watch his world burn.

And I want to kiss her. Make her understand she shouldn't be afraid. She must think she's a bad mother. She's not. And will never be. I've seen the way she talks to kids. The way she smiles at them and makes them feel so special, as if they are the ones wearing a crown not her. I want to make her understand that. The fact that no matter when she'll decide to, she will be the best mother Earth has ever seen.

She's wrong thinking that the fact I can't marry her would ever be an argument for me to lose her. I don't need her to wear my name to know she's mine. Damn, I don't need anything to know she's mine. I don't even need her to say it. Because I'm hers. And screw it, if she wants me to tattoo her name on my heart, I would. Who needs rings when you have the forever kind of love to seal our fate?

She's gone.

She's gone.

And she's not coming back.

The sound of the door opening brings me back to reality. My best friend is leaning on the doorframe, searching for any sign of injuries with his eyes. They lock on the scar on my cheek. Adam looks more tired as usual, probably from spending his time in a hospital for so long. I know how much he despises them.

"Have you been waiting for me to wake up?" I ask him surprised. He nods, as if it were obvious, he would do that.

"Yeah, of course", he answers.

"But you hate hospitals", I reply, still not understanding why he did that.

"I might hate hospitals, but you're the closest thing I have to family. I'm not leaving you alone", he adds, in a slightly nervous tone.

"You're such a..." I want to say but he interrupts me.

"Wonderful best friend? Yeah, I know."

Although my hands are connected with tubes to machines, I still find the strength to show him the middle finger. He chuckles.

"Thank you", I mouth after a while, just in case it wasn't clear to him how grateful I am.

"Anytime", he whispers back. We are quiet for a while, before I ask him the one question I already know the answer to, yet I'm too afraid to accept it.

"She's gone, isn't she?"

Adam freezes. And turns his stare to the ground. It takes him a great effort to react. He starts nodding and adds in a sad voice, showing how sorry he is for me: "She is."

I force the tears inside. Only one escapes, burning its way down my cheek.

I close my eyes and hope I won't have to open them ever again.

Take me back to when I was unconscious. It hurt less than knowing I'll have to live without the love of my life by my side.