MELANCHOLY [S.T. B. Hargrove]

25

"If you keep coming in here, I'm gonna make you start scooping ice cream," Steve warns.

I make a face.

"Don't you have other friends?" he questions.

"Max, Lucas, Mike, El, and Will are prepping for Dustin's coming home party. I don't have to watch Holly or Erica today-"

"I meant like.. normal friends."

"Don't come for me for having kid-friends when Dustin is literally your other half," I warn.

"Fair," Steve decides.

"But.. if that's the case.. Elaine is out of town for a family thing. Nancy. and Jonathan are busy working."

"You need more friends," Steve decides.

"Ick," I deny. "I'm fine with the friends I have. They're all just busy and I'm.. still trying to figure shit out."

"Maybe once the school semester starts, you'll be able to make friends."

"Didn't you just say to make friends my age? Are you forgetting I'm eighteen years old and going into the tenth grade?"

Steve shrugs and points the ice cream scoop at me. "You wanted to get an education."

I rest my head and shoulders on the table. "Steve.."

"What?" he sighs.

"I'm bored."

"Oh, my God," he complains. "Go watch a movie or something. You can take the kids' secret passage to get in free if you want."

"Movies make me go to sleep."

"Go to the bowling alley."

"I don't know how to bowl and it'd be awkward going alone."

"Arcade?"

I raise up and look at Steve.

"What?"

I squint. "How come you haven't said the pool?"

Steve's eyes widen before he shakes his head. "I just figured you wanted something different."

I ease out of the chair and walk over to the counter. "Steve."

Steve looks up from the ice cream with a guilty face.

The way Robin joked and Steve tried to stop her. My worry something was wrong with the pool.

"You knew Billy worked at the pool!" I accuse.

"What?" Steve's voice goes high pitched. "Who? Wo-Works where?"

"Steve!" I cry out in betrayal.

"I didn't want to tell you because I knew it would upset you!" he defends. "I know how much you love the pool and.. wait.."

Steve sets the ice cream scoop down and steps to the counter in front of me. "How did you find out Billy was working at the pool?"

Images of the backseat of Billy's car infect my mind. Him over me. Me over him. All over each-

"That's not important!" I decide, smacking my hand against the counter.

"You saw him, didn't you?"

Everything was so chaotic. "No!"

"Racquel," Steve crosses his arms.

""Oh, God. Not the mom look," I complain.

"How did you find out?"

I put both hands on the counter and lean forward. "Because I went to the pool, all right? I was hanging out with Elaine and he just.. popped up."

"Is that all?"

My tongue pokes my cheek. "Yeah. That's all."

Steve leans down to look me in the eyes. 

"Why are you switching this on me? You should've told me!"

"I'm switching this on you because you're acting guilty like you did something."

"I don't have anything to be guilty about."

"So, whatever happened only happened because you wanted it?"

"God, forget it," I groan and turn around.

"Where are you going?" Steve calls.

"I'm going to see Joyce because at least she makes sense."

--

No one was home at Joyce's. I figure she was still seeing the shop through until it go all the way closed down. So, I just went home.

I'd just stepped into the kitchen to get a drink when there was a knock on the door.

I drag myself to the floor. Mr. Harrington was still at work. Mrs. Harrington was at church. Steve was working. Who could be at the house?

I pull the door open and my body goes numb.

"What do you want?" I ask Billy.

Billy bites his bottom lip in thought. "I was making sure I had the right house."

Billy and I hooked up two days ago.

Now that he was here at my door.. it felt like two years ago.

"For?" I question.

We hadn't talked since that early morning ordeal. We hadn't even seen each other.

Billy steps up to the door. 

I look at what he's wearing, finally. The same outfit he wore the night everything.. changed.

My chest aches.

"Roc," he whispers. "I um.."

"Don't talk," I plead. "You'll fuck it up."

He nods, agreeing with me.

I close my eyes and take a breath. 

I knew Billy. I knew what he wanted to say. But, I also knew that he didn't know how to say that 'sorry' word. I don't even think he knew how to physically pronounce it.

Steve enters my thoughts. His concern for me. Nancy, too.

I look up at Billy.

Nancy said to do what I want. Steve just wants me to be happy without Billy in my life.

Billy takes another step forward, cupping my face in his hands. Our lips meet for the third occasion.

It was like my body melted into his. I grab his shirt and tug him inside the house. He turns, pushing me against the door until it latches shut. Then, we stumble our way to my bedroom.