Relaxing here, just feeling the breeze is probably one of the most peaceful thing this week. I'm currently taking a walk in the sand ,just near in our resort.
I was about to invite Caellum for a walk but his sleep being ang naabutan ko sa kama niya. I didn't bother to wake him, pagod siguro yun.
I'm just listening to the waves with an empty mind. I don't want to think too much as possible. I take one last glance in the sea before turning my back.
I was surprised, we both are, actually surprised. What the hell is she doing here? Pati ba naman dito? Kung saan nag momove on na'ko tsaka nanaman siya susulpot sa harap ko?
"What are you doing here?" i said while confusedly staring to her orbs. She walked slowly towards my direction.
How could someone like her to be so beautiful? Tumatama yung hangin sa mumha niya ,ang hanginna lumilipad sa mahabang mga buhok niya. I hate to admit but she's affecting my system right now, damn it.
I gulped and looked away. "This is a private property, how come you're here." i said while staring mindlessly into the waves that slowly running to my feet.
"I didn't know you're also here.Friend of the family , they celebrated his son's birthday here."
Ilang minutong katahimikan ang dumaan sa pagitan namin. Aalis na dapat ako eh pero ayaw akong palakarin ng paa ko. My body was acting on her own.
"Are you with sir Kairon and Andrix?."
It feels like there's a fucking stone na bumabara sa lalamunan ko nang tanungin ko yun. This is a birthday party, probably nandito siguro sila.
"Yeah." she said while staring at me. I could really feel her stares even though i'm not facing her right now.
"Bumalik kana. Hinahanap kana siguro dun." i said while caressing my palms. Akmang aalis na sana ako nang maramdaman ko ang mga daliri nitong humawak sa braso ko.
Her warm palm that sent thousands of electrifying energy into my system, messing up my heart and mind again. Please calm the fuck down.
"I wan to tal-"
"Hon! Where are you!"
Napapikit ako dahil sa inis. Tangina lang talaga. Natigil yung sasabihin sana ni Miss Alex dahil sa boses ni Doc Kai. Pabida amp.
I composed myself, while looking at her eyes that currently fixed to the man that's fast approaching in our area. I can't help but to smile bitterly. What do i expect.
"Is that you Cassidy?? Hey long time no see. How are you?? Bakit ka pala nandito?" he said while smiling at me. Andami nyang tanong.
Napatingin naman ako sa kamay nito na pumulupot sa bewang ni Miss Alex. I gulped hard before looking away. I'm fucking thirsty.
"I'm staying here for 2 days. I owned this resort." walang ganang sabi ko. Bakas ang gulat sa mata nilang dalawa.
"You owned this?? Wow! You're really full of surprises." nakangiting sambit nito sakin na ikinairap ko mentally. Ang oa ha.
"By the way hon, could you please change Andrix diaper? I couldn't find her nanny."
"A'right, I'll go."
I'm just listening to their conversation. The grip in my palms tightened as he kissed miss Alex cheeks infront of me. Umalis kana tanginang paa ka gumala ka. Naninikip ang dibdib ko.
"Mauna na po ako sa inyo." i said without looking back. I hold my chest when i felt like i couldn't absorb any air in my surroundings. Fuck not now.
Mabibilis ang hakbang na nagtungo ako sa may restroom at napabuga ng hangin. Mabuti nalang at ako lang ang tao sa dito. I stared at myself in the mirror.
Why are you crying again? Akala ko ba malakas kana, bakit ka nanaman naging ganyan self.
I was wiping my tears when i felt the door opened. I forgot to lock it damn. Napahinga ako ng malalim bago nag angat ng tingin, only to met her eyes.
Bakit nanaman ba siya nandito. Please just fuck me right now.
"W-Why are you crying." She was stuttering , if i'm not mistaken , concern ang nababasa ko sa mata niya. It's full of emotions na di'ko mawari.
"I'm good. It's nothing." i coldly said without glancing at her.
Naglakad na ako papuntang pinto when she suddenly pinned me in the wall that made me fall in shock state. Hindi naman sobrang sakit yung pagkatulak niya sakin sa dingding, enough lang yun.
I could see her jaws moving while she gently wipe my tears. Why are you doing this Miss. Binibigyan mo nanaman ako ng pagasa sa kinikilos mo.
"Please stop crying. I'm not worth it." she said while caressing my cheeks. Halo-halo ang emosyon ang nararamdaman ko na mas lalong ikinadaus ng mga luha sa mata ko habang nakatingin sakanya.
Bakit ang hirap mo namang mahalin.
"Stop." My voice cracked. Nasasaktan parin ako. Bakit ang hirap naman ng sitwasyon ko.
"Just let me." dagdag ko habang winawaksi ang mga kamay nitong nakahaplos sa pisnge ko.
"You're destroying yourself Cassidy. Please stop crying because of me. I'm not worth crying for." she said na mas lalong ikinaiyak ko. How could she simply say that. If she only knew i tried so hard to stop this goddamn tears na patuloy na umaagos pero diko magawa.
Napahagulhol ako at napahawak sa balikat nito dahil sa emosyon na di'ko mapigilan. Ang sakit sakit na.
I felt her hands wrapped in my waist and hugged me na mas lalong nakapagpasakit sakin. Why are you doing this now Alex. Why are you doing this!
"L-Let me go , parang awa mo na"
Her grip tightened in my waist. She didn't say anything, instead she was just listening to me while i'm crying everything.
"I told you to forget me." she said na ikinatulak ko sakanya. Akala niya ba ganun lang kadali yun?
"Do you think it's easy! Ginawa ko na ang lahat Lenon pero lintek na puso to ikaw parin yung hinahanap niyan! It's easy for you to say that dahil hindi naman ikaw yung nagmahal! Hindi naman ikaw yung nasa pwesto ko!."
I fucking hate the looks in her eyes. Why are you giving that look tangina, awa nalang ba talaga ang natitirang pagtingin mo sakin?
"I'm sorry... I can't love you."
Napasandal ako sa dingding dahil sa sinabi niya. Of course she will say that! May pamilya siya. She's married.
"Then why are you doing this? Sana hinayaan mo nalang ako. Nagsimula na'ko manahimik eh, pero ikaw sulpot ka nanaman nang sulpot! You're giving me hope Alex! at ang sakit-sakit na."
Nanlalabo na ang paningin ko dahil sa mga luha na patuloy na dumadaloy sa mukha ko. Bakit ba naging ganito? Bakit ba siya ganito, sana hinayaan niya nalang ako.
"I didn't give you hope. You're just expecting me i would." gulat na tiningnan ko siya. What? Natatawang binalingan ko ito. Parang sinampal nanaman ako ng realidad. Paulit-ulit na nageecho sakin yung sinabi niya.
"ganun ba?" i wiped my tears infront of her. I gulped hard before staring directly in her eyes. " i'm sorry for expecting then, Miss Alex."
I stormed out in the cr and walked fastly. Tumatakas nanaman ang luha na pinipigilan ko. Nag aalala ang tingin ni Caellum sakin nang magkasalubong kami pero diretso lang akong pumasok sa pintoan ng kwarto.
Am i being pathetic? Kasalanan ko ba na minahal ko siya? Di'ko naman akalain na siya yung mamahalin ko eh. Di'ko naman akalain na lalalim ang nararamdaman ko.
YOU ARE READING
Embracing my Serotonin
Fanfiction[Unedited] Alex Lenon Roa a respected Head Engineer of Roa Corporation and a Professor in Custadio Imperium University. Cassidy Janea E. Castro an Architecture student of CIU. She've been tangled to the conflict of yesterday, with questions , with...
