Embracing my Serotonin

Chapter 41

It's been a week since the incident happened. My squad scold me real hard. Galit na galit si Rajim sa nangyare. Hindi ko nanga mabilang kung ilang tauhan ang sinibak niya sa pwesto dahil late na raw silang dumating sa pangyayare. Sari-saring mga tanong ang pinukol nila sa mga nakalipas na araw.

Naging issue rin ang skwelahan ni Aunt Lian matapos mamatay si Keisha. Kahit papano naging malapit rin ako sakanya, kaya ang sakit isipin na ako pa mismo ang magdadala sakanya sa impyerno. She choose to be on that side, kahit bigyan ako ng maraming pagkakataon, uulit-ulitin ko parin yun.

"Why did you lie?" i said, while looking at the woman who's sitting in a wooden chair near the sea. Malayo ang tingin nito sa harap.

I heard her heaved a sigh before looking directly at me.

"I didn't lie....when i said i don't like you.", seryosong nakatingin lang ako sakanya, naguguluhan kung tama ba ang narinig ko.

"I don't really like you for real. I don't like the guts you're showing me. I don't like the way you stand, just full of confidence. I don't like the way you put everything into a messy place. I don't like your whole existence."

I didn't came here just to hear it coming exactly from her. Pero bakit ganun? Wala man lang akong sakit na naramdaman kahit harap-harapan niyang sinasabi na ayaw niya sakin.

Binalik nito ang tingin sa harap at pinaglalaruan ang kamay nito.
"However, it seems like the world was just waiting for me to participate the game he was playing. I started to embrace the things that i don't like about you."

A smile plastered in the corner of her lips while looking at the waves. She's gorgeous.
When she looked at me was the moment that i feel like everything's slowly in the right place. I can't seem to understand the comfort she's giving me despite being drowned by hundreds of lightnings that she inputed in my body. Somehow, it's giving me the vibe of understanding the unknown , understanding the suffering.

"I hate the way you made me shrink at the bottom of my clueless reduction, made me realize what a true hapiness feels like, even if it's a small thing or a big one. I wasn't really good at words, i can't fully express my actions for i was confused with the effect that you're trying to give me."

"Kairon and I, it was a business marriage. He was orginally married to my sister, Liyan. They had a son and it was Andrix. When my sister died, i took the responsibility to shelter him. You know, i had never been so good with my sister. We had this cold barrier ever since before, it became worst when she married Kairon which was the person i loved back then. However, i can't feel any hapiness at all, unless it was Andrix. He resembles my sister so much, i regret everything."

Puno ng lungkot ang mga mata nito. Nakikinig lang ako sa mga sinuwalat niya.
"In order to lessen the shame that my family was facing in the business world. Kairon and I , decided to act like a family, for Andrix sake. It was also my way of apologizing to my sister. I admire Kairon for being such a good father to Andrix."

I was shocked when a tear suddenly escaped from her eyes. "I feel like i don't deserve to be happy , that's why i denied everything, i tried to push you to your limit for you to avoid me. Not knowing that it would turn out to be a foolish decision.", ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko habang nakikinig sakanya. She fucking deserve to be happy.

"I'm sorry if i hurt you. I'm sorry for showing the fake side of my world when all you deserve is to see the best in me." , her voice cracked while holding my hand.

Mabilis na niyakap ko naman ito. Hindi ko siya kayang mawala sakin.Ngayon pa na naging open na siya sakin. I knew, for the past days, she was trying to open herself, and ngayon lang siya naglakas ng loob magsabi sakin sa totoong nararamdaman niya.

"Thankyou...for saying this. Thankyou for expressing what you truly feel, Lenon.", i caressed her cheeks before wiping the tears that keeps on flowing.

I pulled her for a hug. Ang gaan ng nararamdaman ko ngayon. Ilang minuto pa ay inilayo ko ito ng bahagya sakin at tumayo. I hold her wrist while pulling her with me to the sea.

"Hey! I didn't bring an extra clothes with me!" , natatawang tiningnan ko ang mukha nitong masama na ang tingin sakin matapos ko itong sabuyan ng tubig dagat. Namumula parin ang mata nito sa pagiyak, pero mas okay na ang itsura niya ngayon.

"You don't have to worry, meron akong di nagagamit sa loob.", nginitian ko lang ito. Mabilis na napapikit naman ako nang sabuyan ako nito ng tubig sa mukha. I stopped for a moment when she laughed. Sobrang ganda niya. How could she be so beautiful even after she cried?

"Stop staring!" , nabalik naman ako sa reyalidad dahil sa boses nito. Nakataas ang kilay nito sakin habang inaayos ang mahaba niyang buhok sa harap ko.

"Nakakabighani ka." I nonchalantly said.
Is she for real? Ang ganda eh, tangina.

"I don't like receiving flowering words , Cassidy." , i chuckled by her reaction. Lumapit naman ito ng bahagya sakin at hinila bigla ang bewang ko palapit sakanya na ikinaigtad ko.

Ang kamay niyang humahaplos sa balat ko ay nagbibigay ng kakaibang daloy ng enerhiya na kailan man ay di'ko naramdam kahit kanino maliban sakanya.

Nakatingin lang ako sa mukha nito nang dahan-dahan niyang kunin ang kamay ko at ipinulupot iyon sa may leeg niya. I bit my lower lip when her gaze focused on my lips. I nonchalantly lick it with the use of my tongue.

I smirked when i saw her jaw move for a bit. Nakakapanghina ang mga tingin na pinupukol niya sakin.

"Stop doing that." , nakakunot ang noo nito na naka tingin sakin kaya mas lalong lumawak ang ngiti ko.

Nilapit ko naman ng dahan-dahan ang mukha ko sakanya without breaking our eye contact. "Doing what Lenon?" , bulong ko rito na ikinalunok niya.

"Are you seducing me now Janea?"

Nakatitig pa ako rito bago lumabas ang tawa na pinipigilan ko. Tangina ang cute niya litse. Mas lalong sumama ang tingin nito sakin.

Napaigtad naman ako ng hinapit niya ako lalo sakanya. "Do you even have an idea of what you're doing right now? You awakened a destructive weapon that might wreck you right now, right here."

Nginisian ko naman ito habang dinadaluy ng dahan-dahan ang mga daliri ko sa balikat niya papunta sa pisnge nito atsaka ito tinitigan ng diretso sa mata.

"A destructive weapon huh?", nilapit ko naman ang bibig ko sa tenga nito at nagsalita. "i'm now curious of what kind of weapon you're about to show me right now, Miss Alex.", I gently bit her ear that made her gasp.