Crossing Into Forever

Chapter 39

The wind and rain outside were fierce as the large droplets forcefully hit the crystal glass panes of the windows. A bolt of bright lightning strikes spreading out as far as the eye could see, would occasionally fill the dark, gloomy skies. This would be accompanied by a loud clash of thunder, which no matter how prepared Ella was for it, would make her feel like she was going to jump completely out of her skin. Her mood was not much better than the weather was. Indeed, she was fully engulfed in a moment of complete despair. She had been in her room all day, not even coming out for meals. She wasn't hungry anyway. As a matter of fact, the thought of food did not sit well with her at all. There was only one thing that was dominating her thoughts and that was that in only a couple of short weeks, she would be marrying one of the most hideous men she had ever had the displeasure of meeting. He was rude and obnoxious. He was arrogant and not at all pleasing to look at, not that the last part would have mattered anyway. How could someone who had never even planned on marrying anyone, ever, be in this situation? An arranged marriage! Who even does that anymore? That kind of thing doesn't happen these days. How had she allowed herself to get into this sort of situation? If she could just go back and redo it all again. All of this because she locked her keys in her car. If she could have just been able to get Millicent's attention, before she walked into the woods. If she wouldn't have already given the apartment manager her key. So many "only if's" or "what if's".

Back to reality after being engrossed in memories from the past did little to ease her mind. The hopelessness of it all overcame her again, and all she could do was sob. She had been crying uncontrollably most of the day. Once, Millicent had come to her room to check on her, but Ella had assured her she was all good. She gave the excuse that the weather had made her very sleepy and she had not slept well that night before, so she was catching up with her rest. She wasn't sure if her friend believed her or not, but thankfully so far, everyone else had left her alone for the day.

One thing that had made her feel a little bit better was that her Aunt Mary had been there to visit her for the prior week. She had left to go back home yesterday and would be back for the wedding. Even though secretly Ella had decided there was going to be no wedding, she still took solace in the words of her aunt. That was the only bit of happiness she had felt since she found out about the marriage. Her Aunt assured her that she would be ok. That marriage was a beautiful sacrament meant to be celebrated and reminded her that God would protect her through all trials and tribulations. She did have that faith, at least. She felt like God was always watching out for her and he would never forsake her. Of course, she knows that doesn't mean that things are always going to be easy and go the way we want them to. We must have a strong faith in the Lord she thought to herself.

A light knock on the door startled her for a second. She sat up in bed and did her best to smooth her hair and the covers around her. She had not even gotten up to take a shower or even brushed her hair today. Thinking that it was one of the other girls coming in to check on her, she gave the summons to come in. The door opened and to her shock and dismay, it was Dr Moustakas and he was carrying a small stack of books in his hands. She did not want to see this man at this moment when her eyes were puffy, and her hair was completely unkempt. She tried to hide the look of surprise on her face, but it must have been obvious, because his first words were," I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, Ella. "

"Oh, you didn't, totally lying, but she was trying to think of excuse for looking as if he had. I was just expecting Sibylla...that's all.

"Oh...do you have plans for this evening?"

Somewhat stuttering her response, she responded with a "no"...I..I thought she was coming to check on me. She regretted those words as soon as they came out of her mouth.