The Final Choice

46

My nerves were buzzing, making me feel like my entire body was vibrating. The thing with Will was still heavily on my mind, but going to Colby's room to talk about...us, was helping to distract me. I just wasn't sure which one I would rather deal with at the moment.

Not that I didn't want to have the conversation, it was just stressful and nerve wracking to think about telling him what I had decided. Then, wondering how he would react. Would he agree with me, or have a totally different idea? That scared me the most. 

Once we were in his room, he bypassed the bed and led me to the couch. We both sat, leaving a few inches between us. I knew that I should probably turn to face him, but it would be easier for me to not be looking at him. Things happened when I looked in those damned eyes of his. I couldn't concentrate on anything, other than the fire in them, looking like icy blue molten lava. 

I waited for him to speak first, since I'm obviously a big, fat chicken. I decided to fidget with my spinning rings, instead. Until he reached over, placing his hand on mine, stilling it. I made the mistake of looking over, right into those damned hypnotic eyes. I froze, with my breath catching in my throat. 

Again, my body decided to go into flight or fight mode. I felt trapped. My heartbeat started beating faster, like it was trying to escape my chest and I couldn't seem to let that damn breath out. I squeezed my hand into a fist, letting my fake nails bite into the palm of my hand, letting the pain distract me. 

I closed my eyes, blocking his out, and pressed my nails down harder, until I hissed out a breath and my heartbeat started to slow. Only then did I dare to open my eyes again. I wasn't trapped. Colby would never do anything to hurt me. I knew that. He wouldn't force me to have this conversation or to do anything that I didn't want to do. 

I took a deep shaky breath and leaned back into the couch, keeping my eyes locked with his. His hand was still on mine, but slid off when I moved. I kind of missed the warmth of it. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. I gave him what I hoped was a calm smile and nodded. "Yeah. I just got overwhelmed for a second. Sorry."

He rolled his eyes and turned sideways on the couch to face me. Damn it. "Stop saying you're sorry for everything, Callie. You don't have to be sorry. It's not your fault for the way you react to things. It's not something you can control. You don't have to be sorry. Do you still want to talk? We don't have too." 

He looked worried and angry, all in one, and honestly, it was hot as fuck, but I was too nervous to think about that for too long. "No," I sighed. "Yes." I grinned up at him, in amusement, when his jaw clenched. "Calliiiieee, you're killing me," he groaned. I giggled, letting some of the tension in my body ease. "I don't want to have to talk about it, but we need too, so yes," I replied, softly. 

I turned sideways on the couch, bringing one leg up onto it, while the other stayed on the floor, mimicking him. "Do you want to start, or...?" he asked, nervously pulling on his bottom lip with his index finger and thumb. I let out a short laugh and shook my head. "Nope, not at all," I said, smiling, wryly. 

"Damn it. Guess it's up to me then, huh?" he replied, returning my smile. "Yep. It's all you," I laughed, glad that my nerves had started to dissipate. He let out a heavy breath and ran his hand through his hair. It was starting to dry, letting his natural curls come through. My fingers ached to follow his, and run through those curls. So much so, that I shoved them under my thighs to keep from reaching out. 

"Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it, then, Cal. You know that I want to be with you. I've always wanted to be with you. I don't know how you feel anymore, but I do know that you feel something for me. I just don't know if it's just lust, or if it's something more," he replied, staring into my eyes.