The Final Choice

49

Sam eventually did retire to his room, leaving Colby and I alone, again. We had decided to watch the entire Scary Movie franchise, and we had just started the third movie. I decided to call Ben and see how he was doing, after all the shit with Will. I hated that he had to deal with this mess, but I didn't know how to make Will stop involving him.

I put the phone to my ear, listening to the tinny ringing sound, until Ben's voice filtered through. "Hey Mom! What's up?" his deep voice sounded in my ear. "Hey Baby," I replied, a smile automatically spreading across my face. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. Make sure that Will wasn't still bothering you. Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine, Momma. I haven't heard from him, since I left earlier. I told him that you weren't that kind of person and that whoever was spreading those rumors needed to shut their damn mouths," he replied, angrily. "Ben, language," I chided, gently, closing my eyes. I hadn't even realized that Colby had turned the volume down on the television.

"Sorry, but that makes me mad. I don't know if he's the one spreading these rumors, or if someone else is, but none of it is true! You're the best mom in the world. You always have been. I won't let anyone talk trash about you," he said, stonily. 

"Baby," I sighed. "Don't let it get to you like this. It's probably just Will trying to get to me. You know he does this when he doesn't like what I'm doing. He's always hated Colby. We've talked about this, because I knew something would happen when he found out that I was gone. I promise that its okay." 

I didn't like him getting so upset about stupid rumors. I hated that Will, because I knew it was all Will, was putting him through this. I had to put a stop to it. He could talk shit about me all he wanted, but he was going to leave Ben out of it. 

"Yeah, well, I'm not going to listen to anyone putting you down. Especially, when they're actually the piece of shit," he spat out. "BEN," I called him down, again. "Stop swearing." "Sorry, sorry," he replied, exasperatedly. I rolled my eyes, catching Colby's gaze. "You okay?" he mouthed, with concern in those icy blue eyes of his. I nodded.

"Listen, I'm going to call him when I get off the phone with you, and talk to him, okay?" I said, soothingly. "No, Momma!" Ben exclaimed. "He always makes you sad or upset. I already told him to keep his mouth shut. I really just wanted to punch him in the face, but you always told me to show respect. Next time, if he doesn't show you respect, then I'm gonna show him respect." 

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Kid, I can handle this. I promise. Just ignore him, if he tries to get in touch with you. At least for the next couple of days, okay? I've told you this already, but you don't have to keep a relationship with him. This is totally your choice." 

He was silent for a moment, just his angry breathing coming through. "I know. I'm trying not to cut him off completely, but I'm just so sick of his crap. I should've probably cut him off a long time ago. I don't why I keep hanging on," he replied, in disgust.

"Because, baby," I said, softly, wishing that I could hold my baby boy, and just give him a hug. "You love him. He's the only father you know. Good or bad." "Well, I don't wanna love him anymore. I don't want to care about him anymore. How do I stop?" The pain in his voice broke my heart. 

Honestly, it made me want to jump on a plane right then and go back home to my kid. No matter how old he was, he was still that little boy that I took in. The same little boy that showed me what real love was. 

"I don't know, baby," I whispered, tears springing to my eyes. "You can still love him, without letting him take advantage of you, though. Sometimes, we have to love those people from afar, because they're bad for us." I felt Colby's hand take my free one, and squeeze.