Stay // Johnnie Guilbert

Chapter 5

Warning! This chapter contains self harm and some strong language. Do not proceed to read if this topic triggers you.

Johnnie's pov:

I slammed the bathroom door shut clenching my fists. I don't know what had happened to me, everything just hit me all at once and now I felt like I was going crazy.

I had nobody to talk to, I felt so alone and I hated that feeling which made everything worse. I bursted out with tears, squinting my eyes as I pulled my hair and slammed my fist against the door.

I dug my nails into my skin, I know what I needed to do. Which wasn't the right choice but I didn't even care anymore.

I grabbed my razor blade and sliced it against my wrist, leaving out a big sigh grinding my teeth together.

I did it again.

And again..

And one more time.

I washed off the blade in the bathroom sink, and put my wrist under the warm water. I put some band aids on and pulled down my sleeve, thinking about what I had just done once again.

I stared at the wall. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I was just a pathetic mess, I started to freak out again and pull at my hair until I heard my mom shout.

"Johnnie, Your friend is here!"

"What?? What friend?" I yelled

"Just get down here!"

I walked down the stairs and looked at the door, only to see Phoenix. I didn't really expect or know if I wanted company right this second but it's fine I guess.

Oh- hey Phoenix. I said, I wasn't in the best mood after what had just happened.

"Go go!" My mom said as she pushed me out the door.

Ugh.

"Hey Johnnie I'm sorry to bother you I just didn't know who to talk to and I ju—"

"Woah woah slow down Phoenix" I said.

She was talking so fast I think something was wrong.

She knitted her eyebrows together as her eyes got cloudy, she was staring at the floor.

"I'm sorry I just sound so annoying I just felt so stressed and I have nobody to talk to I'm so sorry ..!" She said as tears started to fall down her face.

"Hey hey hey it's okay Phoenix, don't worry I'm here for you like I said. Just let it out okay?" I said as I cupped her face and wiped her tears.

She sank her head into my chest and started to cry.

I held her tightly. I didn't know what was going on but I wanted to be there for her, poor thing.

"That's it just let it out I'm here." I said trying to comfort her.

Hours later

Me and Phoenix were sitting on a bench talking about a bunch of stuff. She seemed to feel better and I was happy to see that.

"Hey Johnnie..?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I um.. stay at your place tonight? I'm sorry if that's a weird request I just wan-"