Hateful desires

Chapter 15

Professor Mcgonnagol had explained that I could leave early, but that I still had to study whilst away, I didn't mind that, I just wanted a break, a big break from the school, Potter, Ron, Pansy, and of course from Malfoy.

I had a talk with Pansy before leaving, she knew that my anger towards her came from my grief, and didn't take it to heart.

I left Hogwarts the day after everything with Malfoy, it was a huge relief, but I still wanted him to be here, I didn't know why or what the hell was wrong with me. I was probably going insane.

My sister Aria cried non-stop, she was more sensitive than me, or at least she showed more emotion. I hated showing my emotions when I was upset, made me feel weak and vulnerable and I couldn't handle it.

I spent most days cooped up in my room, looking at old memories of my Nan, I did cry, a lot actually, just not in front of anyone.

My mother hadn't told me how my Nan had died yet, but she promised me she would after her funeral, the funeral I really didn't want to attend in fear of breaking down in front of everyone.

"Darling, are you ready soon" my mother yelled softly, as I was putting on a black suit, "Yes Mother, I'll be down in one minute" I yelled back, as I put on some light makeup, I had too because all the pureblood families would attend this funeral, and I needed to look my best.

I wore a black blazer, and black trousers, with some black low heels. I walked down the stairs, my mom had made some croissants, but I didn't have an appetite, "You have to eat something sweetie" My mother said, as she looked at me "I am really not hungry mother" I scoffed, as she stared at me, a stare that meant I had to obey.

I ate one croissant, and my body wanted to spit it out even though it tasted heavenly, I just couldn't get anything down, but I had to.

"Aria sweetheart, are you coming" my mother yelled, as we stood waiting for my sister. She walked down the stairs in a beautiful black dress, with a black blazer and some black sunglasses to hide her swollen eyes. "Yes Mother" Aria said as she walked towards us "Grab a croissant sweetheart, and let's go," My mother said as Aria quickly grabbed one with a tissue.

We got inside this beautiful black limousine, we would normally floo, but this was a funeral, and we had to get there presentably.

I looked out the window the whole ride, fiddling with my rings, I hadn't taken off Malfoy's ring, I wanted to but I couldn't.

We arrived, and my heart started pounding, almost out of my chest. My sister grabbed my hand "Chin up, look straight" She whispered as we walked in, every head was turned to us as we walked in, to sit up at the front, and my eyes glanced to the right, at a man with long platinum blonde hair, beside him a woman, beautiful, with black and white hair, and next to them of course Malfoy, I looked away and walked past them.

We sat down, and the ceremony started. I didn't say anything during the whole ceremony, I just held back my tears, fiddling with my rings. I could feel so many stares at me, it was unbearable.

My father hadn't said a word to me since I came home, it was odd, but I didn't mind, it was normal for me.

After a while, my mother went up to talk about my Nan, just like any other funeral, I just sat there, not listening to anything she said, staring at the coffin next to her where my Nan was lying. My heart was shattered, it broke me, I couldn't stand looking at her like that.

The ceremony ended and it was time to bury my Nan, she was to be buried next to my grandfather, it was tradition. We walked out, and I could see Pansy with her parents, I sent a small smile and so did she, my heart ached, I wanted to cry and scream, but I had to keep my head high.