Hateful desires

Chapter 20

"You did what?" I yelled at Pansy in frustration, I would have hexed her ass to Mars.

"Why on earth would you do that to her?".

"I - I, I wanted to make her jealous, and we fought, and then I started talking with him"
"Gosh Pansy, the fuck is wrong with you, that is messed up" I spat at her, I wanted to slap her.

"I know, but it's not my fault that I started getting feelings for him, I didn't even know I was attracted to both guys and girls" She hissed at me, what did she have to be mad about?

"Not about that, about her, you just messed around with her and literally tossed her to the side to watch you with him, really, you are even worse than Malfoy".

"Impossible, he is a stuck-up arsehole who tossed you to the side when YOU HAD ALMOST GOTTEN RAPED", no she didn't, she did not just bring that up.

"SHUT UP", "NO YOU SHUT UP" And I left, slamming the door. Where the hell was I supposed to go? I walked to the common room angrily, you could hear how my footsteps stomped on the floor, I hadn't noticed the boys still sitting there, and as I turned to my side I saw them all have a surprised look on their faces. "WHAT?" I yelled as I left the common room.

Where the hell could I be fucking alone.

I walked around the whole school, searching for an empty place, what the hell did every fucking student do at this time.

The only place I had tried to avoid was my last chance, the astronomy tower. Whilst walking towards it my heart started pacing, I started sweating, I gasped for air as I approached the hall where I had almost been raped, where I was sexually assaulted, my heart fell out and my stomach twisted and turned, I felt dizzy like I would throw up.

I felt tears on the verge of spilling down my cheeks, and I quickly ran up to the astronomy tower and fell to the floor as my tears started streaming down my cheeks. I sobbed uncontrollably, I couldn't stop, I couldn't breathe. Why would she bring that up, did she try to hurt me?

I was luckily alone up there, and just sat with my face in my knees crying.

I had no sense of how long I had been up there, it felt like hours but at the same time like minutes. I tried to calm myself down but I couldn't, I had hit my breaking point. It hurt so much to know how vulnerable and defenceless I was at that moment, he could have succeeded if Matheo hadn't been sneaking around, if he hadn't transferred.

Thankfully he was, I finally calmed myself down and dried my face off on my sweater, I stayed, gazing at the stars to try to relax, but I couldn't relax, the memory of Malfoy and I sitting here, looking at the stars appeared in my head, it felt like a knife to the heart.

I got up, I couldn't stay there anymore, it hurt, I didn't know why the memory of us sitting here hurt, but it did. I looked at the clock, oh Merlin I had been up here for 2 hours.

I started walking down the stairs, I could hear steps, so I quickly ran back up, fuck, was it Filch.

I hid up there, my heart pacing because of the steps and the adrenaline. The door creaked open slowly and I heard a voice calling out my name, why would someone look for me?

"Y/n, are you here?" a voice said as the door closed, I just stayed hidden knowing my eyes were red and puffy from the two-hour cry I just had.

"I know someone is, heard the door slam before I got up here, is it Y/n?", I could recognize the voice, just not point out who it belonged to.

I could hear his steps walk around, and then I heard the steps louder and louder, getting closer, why can't I just be left alone?

"There you are," he said, I got up and looked up at him, it was Matheo, "There is the princess," he said as he pulled me into a hug, "What happened?" he asked as my arms wrapped around his, I was surprised that I hugged him back, that he hugged me.