Hateful desires

Chapter 21

I made my way to the common room just before I was stopped by an upset Pansy.

"What do you want?" I said as I just rolled my eyes, I couldn't believe her, fair that she tried to make Sophia jealous, but actually hurting her, it just made me so furious.

"Can we talk, please?" Pansy said, she looked like she hadn't slept for days, her eyes were red, her skin pale, and her voice sounded sad, apologetic.

"Hmmm, what about, no" I said as I tried to get around her, she stepped to the side to prevent me from walking away.

"Please, I need to talk with you, I -, I said some things I shouldn't have said" She lowered her voice, and her voice somehow managed to sound ever sadder, almost sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

"Fine, let's just go to our dorm" I quickly took her hand and pulled her with me into the common room. Theo, Crabbe, Goyle and Matheo were there, why would he be with them? I quickly realised that Malfoy wasn't with them, and then it made sense, I sent a quick smile as I pulled Pansy along with me to our dorm.

"So?" I said, lifting my eyebrows at her whilst my hands were fiddling with my rings.
"Do you hate me?" left her trembling mouth, and it made her stomach turn and immediately I felt bad, even though I didn't do anything wrong.

'Head high, chin straight' I repeated in my head

"Pans, I could never hate you, or not permanently" I let out a light chuckle, trying to calm the tension between us "You are my best friend, yes what you did to Sophia was wrong, but that is none of my business, but what you yelled at me, how you yelled it, it just -" I couldn't finish the sentence before Pansy cut in "I am so sorry" Her voice trembled and broke "I really am, I don't know why, why I would say that to you out of everyone, my best friend, I really am sorry, truly" she said, I swear I could see a tear in her eyes, but she quickly blinked a few times and the tear disappeared.

"Pans" I scoffed as I put my hand on hers "It just hurt to be reminded, especially when it came from you in the way it did, it just broke me" I admitted. I hated sounding vulnerable, but it was the truth, hearing her voice say how Malfoy had been, what almost happened, it just hurt me.

"I will kill him you know" she sniffled, "You better" I smirked as I pulled her into a hug "What if I kill you first?" I whispered teasingly in her ear , she shook her head and let out a laugh.

"And out of everyone, you chose him?" I teased as we pulled away from each other's embrace.
"You have to admit that he is charming" I shook my head "Can't disagree on that" I said as I winked at her "We have potions, better get going" before Snape actually kills one of us" I said as she shook her head "Kill me first" rolled off her tongue as she laughed.

We were almost late, and all the boys were there, except Malfoy. I had totally forgotten about the incident, or actually Pansy distracted me.

Sophia gave me a slight smile when I walked up to get some ingredients for the Wit-sharpening potion, since I had messed up last time I had to redo it, alone.

And I messed up again of course, I hadn't been tutored by Malfoy yet, we had scheduled Fridays and Saturdays at 21:00 in the potions classroom, and we hadn't actually made it to our first session yet.

"Miss Y/l/n, you are a disappointment to the Slytherins" he said in he sluggish voice walking away from me and of course everyone heard and some Gryffindors laughed about it.

Brilliant.

He dismissed us and I cleaned up my desk quickly before my eyes dazed off to Pansy and Sophia walking out together, and I could feel myself smile a little.